Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Colons

The all-new The OC from Thursday:

Two very funny lines from Seth:

The first two lines of this entry ended in colons, now to continue:

The First:
(Seth and Ryan scoff and Kirsten's breakfast)
Kirsten: "Get used to it, boys, you'll experience a lot of new things in college."

Seth: "Yeah, like horny co-eds and alcohol poisoning."

The Second:
(The end of the show, Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Basket Case are walking on the beach. They are suggesting jobs for Ryan, saying Ryan Atwood ___. (then fill in the blank with the job)).

Seth: "Ryan Atwood - Fluffer."

For those of you who do not know. A fluffer is a girl on the set of a porno shoot who is responsible for helping the male actor achieve a state of physical readiness to perform his scene. She often uses her mouth.

Laugh now.

Pause.

Continue reading.

Sandy Cohen: Great Bluffer, not fluffer, I'm not sure a man in his 40's would be any good fluffing, but as far as bluffing goes, he should be hitting his prime. He owned Dean Pederast (okay, technically the wrong word for him, but I like Lebowski referances). So now The OC has done what it does time and time and time and time and time again. It fucks with the overall direction of the characters for a few episodes with a completely off the wall plotline and then brings it all back together again in one episode. I need more funny from the show and less strain and frustraing plotlines - a little more lightheartedness would do the show a world of good.

But trouble is brewing in the world of The OC. Adam made this point. Is Marisa that stupid or is she just a 17 year old girl? Her emotions are more eratic than the Minnesota Viking offense. Jeri Ryan's character - still don't like her, but still like her breasts. Yeah, I'm a dick.

So Kirsten sobers up and can suddenly cook well. Okay...

Kirsten offers Sandy breakfast. He responds with one of those lines that make The OC really great (sometimes). "No thanks, I'll have a bagel and a shmear." "A shmear" of course refers to the cream cheese he will apply to his toasted little circle of morning goodness.

This was an awkward episode. You had to expect it to be after coming off a 4-5 week shelving for the baseball playoffs. Next week hopefully things will be in better swing.

Colon

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Tara Reid turns 30 today. She has not been relevant in the entertainment business in quite a while. Scratch that. She's been relevant, just not respectably relevant.

She's been good for "party girl slut," "boob job," and "nipple slip" jokes, but that's about it. I haven't even seen a movie she's been in that was made after 2002. And I see a lot of movies.

She's been on E! showing off her new titties and getting wasted all over the world all while bitching about the media labeling her as a party girl. I wonder why they do that.

Her two most significant acting jobs to this day are in 1998's The Big Lewbowski. Her most memorable line: "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars."

The second, American Pie (1999). The most memorable scene: her character losing her virginity. I think we can all agree that there ought to be more scenes of people losing their virginities in film. And she's hot, so it's fun.

And okay, Van Wilder was hilarious, but because of Ryan Reynolds, who is an underrated actor, not because of her. But she played the role of "the hot girl" very well.

And I think she may have been playing herself in Josie and the Pussycats.

So thanks for your looks, Tara. Now we'll all shed just one tear as you fade into oblivion on your 30th birthday.

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Lindsay Lohan is apparently considering attending college and taking time off her sort of-music, quasi-acting, and starvation careers. That should last at least a couple of days.

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Everyday IMDB.com has two trivia questions. I rarely get either of them right. But I got one today. Here it is: "Two things you might like to know about this actor: (1) In 1979, he auditioned for the New York University Undergraduate Drama Program on a dare (and was accepted); (2) He wrote an episode of Law and Order based on his own experiences with tabloid reporters."

Do you know the answer?

Until You Do.

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