Saturday, December 18, 2004

A Weekend of Ups and Downs

The Geoff came over from The Cities on Friday Night. We were in the middle of a poker game when he showed up, a game in which I took 3rd place... out of four guys. Not so good.

The biggest hand, for me, came when I paired a six on the flop. The highest card on the flop was a ten. The Rizz raised pre-flop. I called. Post-Flop I bet, he raised... I put him on AK, I figured he the flop didn't it him. The turn was a blank. He bet big, I just called-- my mistake. I should have went over the top all-in, because my read was basically correct. He had J-10 suited and hit a J on the river. I had him until then, but was too chicken shit to go with my right-thinking gut.

We went bowling after that, where I had about my worst bowling performance since maybe 7th grade. I would like to blame it on things likes a shady lane, my hair in my eyes, my jeans being too long, the cross-wind blowing left-to-right over the indoor alley, the beer, etc., but I can't - I just sucked. And because I sucked, I cost The Rizz and myself some money. Did you think we would bowl and not put money on it?

This brings me to a booze money update:

1 Pitcher: $7

Total: $32.15

The most annoying thing while we were bowling was the country music they played, and when they actually played a good song, like Teenage Wasteland by The Who, they cut it off after 30 seconds. Bullshit.

Saturday we were lame. Had a handful of beers, played some old school N64 Mario Cart, watched some hoops and a music video countdown.

We played a poker game as well. The Geoff, Heed, The Rizz, and myself. I took this one down, thanks to pocket tens being my hand the last few nights. Feels good to win some money from your friends.

It is still early enough to make something exciting out of Saturday, but I'm going to hang it up and give the liver a break tonight. Tomorrow I plan to spend most of the day watching football and playing poker. Ah, poker.

Until Then.



Friday, December 17, 2004

The Elephant That We Don't Talk About

I received two comments on recent posts, one on the comments board and one in an IM. They both warrant discussion.

First, the comment about how it might not be a good idea for me to track booze purchases, I can only say that while my spending habits may change, consumption levels will not. How can this be possible? Well, this study is pretty much my way of proving to myself that I am too philanthropistic with my wallet when it comes to booze. That's all. Fear not.

This deserves mentioning. I'm playing 1/2 limit hold em. I flopped a set of fours and won 33.50, then, on the very next hand, I flop two pair, aces and threes, and am in a 33 dollar pot when I get rivered by a dude making a better two pair when his 5 hits. The Rizz put it well, feel the rush, feel the suck out.

The second comment said how the reader liked my blog because I wrote things she said most people only think. Well, I think I have some more of those little moments to write about...

How about when a woman is breast-feeding a baby in public? You want to look, see if you can see something you are not supposed to, but you know it is wrong. You feel guilty, but you still can't help yourself, you grab sneak peeks, quick glances. Everyone does it.

Have you ever been in a room when a very awkward moment has come about? Say one of your friends mentioned something he wasn't supposed to about another friend of yours and everyone else in the room is standing there not really knowing what to do or say next and you are staring at the person who that something was said about. Then there is a pause and your friend who made the taboo comment has the "What the fuck?" look on his face because he doesn't know what's going on. Then you have to quick try to figure something out to pop the bubble in the room or heard the elephant out, but that's a hard thing to do. After the pause, questioning, staring, if someone hasn't come up with a fix, then there will be a little panic and by this time it is either too late and someone is going to have point to the elephant or come up with a great way to either clear the room or change the topic, spark a debate, get everyone to take a shot or something. Then you have the backlash... where your friend asks you whats up and you have to tell him and he feels bad, then people do the whispering around the room and tell everyone else what just happened. If you could call Gil Grissom to come and spray the story with luminol, we could watch it spread around the room, pretty soon the room would glow blue. The person who is the subject of the story will feel out of place and in the limelight all at the same time. These feelings will take a little bit to dissipate. That tension hovers over the room for a little bit. We all see it happening.

I lost 12 bucks in poker today.

I am going to start drinking beer now.

Until I Sober Up.






Booze and Money, Day 1

From December 16th through the end of the Spring Semester, I am going to do something that no person should do to themselves. This is not only cruel and unusual, as well as unjust, but backlash could be life-altering. No person deserves this, so why am I going to do it? Because I am just too damn curious.

I am going to keep track of how much money I spend on booze, at the store and at bars, over the next five months.

So, we start with yesterday, Thursday the 16th:

30 Pack Milwaukee's Best Light: $12.65

She-nan's: $12.50 ($3.75 was spent people other than myself).

It was a pretty cheap night at the bar for me, usually I am in the 20's or, unfortunately, higher.

Booze Total After 1 Day: $25.15

11 of 21

Crossing the Half Way Mark:

#11) Rating Systems

Guys and Girls rate each based on physical experience. No matter how un-superficial you are, you do it. It's human nature, instinct. You will see a member of the opposite sex and think to yourself, "She's hot," or "She's not bad," or "If she had a full mouth of teeth, she'd be really hot."

When discussing a person's relative attractiveness to rest of their gender, some people use a system, the most basic being a 1-10 scale. Some people use th golf club method: if she only looks good from far away, she's a driver, the hottest girl would be a putter. 10=putter, 1=driver. And all the irons are scattered about in between.

Then there is the "How Many Beers" method. You have state how many beers it would take you to gain carnal knowledge of a person. A 10, or a putter, would be zero beers, where as a 1, or a driver, might be 37 beers, depending on your tolerance level.

I am suggesting a new rating system. It is based on the strength of poker hands before the flop in a no limit texas hold 'em game. The 10, putter, zero beers rating would Pocket Aces (AA). The 1, driver, 37 beers rating would be 2-7 off suit. Then you might have some girls who are pocket nines or maybe a KQ, or something horrific, but not 37 beers worthy, might be a 4-9 off suit. You might have a pretty hot girl, but not top of the list, at a AQ and so on.

Let's get this into circulation.

Unitl Another One.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

10 of 21

#10) Spam E-mail -- I don't get very much of it, just once in a while, so it is a bit more humorous to me than it is annoying.

So far this week, Ticketmaster has twice reminded not to miss Rod Stewart.

Antoine Galloway wants me to Enlarge My Johnson.

I have had two "Emergancy Virus Notifications" in the last few weeks.

The WeatherBug people are so kind as to remind me about their free software.

The Administration has had a few Important Staff Anouncements recently.

Who do these people think they are sending these e-mails to? Yes, I am going to just go sign up for your shit cause you sent me an e-mail.

So thank you Mr. Galloway, but I am going to pass.

But if any of you hear about hot, barely legal, asian girls for free -- let me know.

Until Next Time.



Oi Humbug!

Thursday Night TV Report

Merry Chrismukkah everyone.

This episode, was, by me, received as, one of the, but not the, best OC episodes in either season, and surely the best of season two. I hope you were able to fight through those commas to extract some meaning from that sentence.

First of all, Jimmy bangin' Julie again can only lead to another Marissa overdose or runaway.

Secondly, all of Seth's Chrismukkah preperations, while being quite funny (the work wheel, the color-coded alert system) were overshadowed by the plot line. Seth pretty much had the episode by the horns from the beginning, delivering the classic Seth Coen lines, which, while we had a ton this episode, could never get enough of.
Examples:
"Oh ye of little faith, trust one of mixed faith."

The Chrismukkah Backlash speech.

After Sandy questions Ryan about the seriousness of his thing with Lindsay, Seth chimes in with, "Well, he wants to see her naked."

Then of course the "his illegitimate love child" comment that blows the door open to rest of the episode and really fucks Ryan in the ass.

So the Spider Web that is The OC grows bigger. We had Cal, Julie, Jimmy, Marissa, Sandy, Kirsten, Ryan, Seth, Lindsay, Rachel Wheeler, and Summer all in the Coan kitchen, and the only one who had no blood or legal relation to another in the room was Summer, who is Seth's ex-girlfriend. It all seems so incestual, yet somehow isn't. Ryan moinking his adopted half-aunt or whatever the hell Lindsay is to him, is, after all, legal.

In a bit of role-reversal, Ryan leads the Coen Family back on track to the typical Coen Family thing and welcome Lindsay into their family and pick her ass up off the mat.

Seth comes in with more Seth lines, "You're a Coen, welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt." Then he goes on with something about making jokes inappropriately soon after a traumatic experience... Good shit.

But, as good as this episode was, the best line came in the previews...

Marissa: "I'm not like most girls." The living room of the 213 burst into laughter at that one. Her and Alex? Wow. In the immaculate words of Paris Hilton, "That's Hot."

A threesome for Seth? Marissa dating her ex-boyfriend's adopted brother's ex(or current)-girlfriend, while her ex-boyfriend dates his adopted mother's half-sister? Follow that.

Seth and Summer are getting back together, it's just a matter of time.

Should be noted: Ryan's acting improvement. Tons.

Marissa wasn't in this one enough to be horrible.

There will be a Marissa-centric episode soon, probably two or three in a row, and surely at least one massive breakdown.

Question: Sandy's career? Quit his firm. Not a PD anymore. Cal is out of trouble. Now what?

The Company: Is Julie out now?

The Jimmy/Julie Thing: Does Kirsten out them to the necessary people?

And so it goes, the spider web of incestuous drama that is The OC.

Until Later.






A Good First Half of Thursday

Instead of studying for my last final, I sat at my computer and played limit hold 'em. I was too amped after The Geoff took 5th in a $200 buy-in no limit tournament last night and won $2,000. I fed off of his success and won about 30 bucks in the hour or so before my test. Then, I was sitting in the classroom and sort of freaking out because the cute, smart girl who I have been cheating off of for most of the year hadn't shown up yet and I knew that our prof was allowing us the option to take it on Friday with her section, so I worried that she was taking that option. But fortunately for me, she arrived, 2 minutes late, and finished a head of me, and helped me with about a dozen or so questions. Nice girl.

I stopped by the grocery store on my walk home to pick up one of those chicken dinner things at the deli, and the deli dude fuckin' stiffed me with crappy little servings of potato wedges and potato salad. I was trying to celebrate the end of the semester and he fucked me over. Oh well, I paid my #3.15, went home, ate it, played more poker, re-arranged my room, went to the booze store for a 30 pack of The Beast, watched Jeopardy! with The Rizz, played some more poker and now here I sit. I am about 40 bucks for the day and feeling pretty good about it. Also feeling good about my nap that is just around the corner and about celebrating Chrismukah tonight. Anybody else excited for that???

Leave me some predictions on tonight's episode if you read this before 7.

Until Later.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Random I Am

Four days without writing, might be a record.

The weekend here was an excellent time. Saturday night's party turned into a Sunday morning party in true 213 style. I woke up on my boxspring with my mattress on the floor beside me. The bust of the weekend came when my car disagreed with my plans to head south to check out the roommates' basketball game. So, I did the booze shopping while I awaited their return. Alright, on to things people other those at the 213 will give a shit about.

First, an article in Newsweek about Emmy Rossum. Many of you have seen her and didn't know who she was. She played Sean Penn's daughter in Mystic River, the dead girl. She has just been nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance in The Phantom of the Opera. I first saw her when she was 14 in a movie called Songcatcher. She sang in that movie as well and was terrific. I bought the movie based on her performance. She also played across from Jake Gyllenhaal in The Day After Tomorrow, but we'll forgive her for that, and him for that matter. They are great actors, but that movie really blew ass. Besides being a good actor and great singer, she's really fuckin' gorgeous. I'm warning you now, she is going to blow up.

I went Christmas shopping today for nearly three hours. Nearly three of the longer hours of my year. I am playing Santa Clause for my household and also did some shopping for my pops and siblings, somebody had to get the cousins something, so that took a lot of extra time, effort, and patience. How the hell am I going to know what my cousins, 14, 9, and 4 (all girls), who I see thrice yearly, want? I need help.

After I had that shitty day playing limit hold 'em, I have made some nice progress, building my roll back up to hopefully some respectable level. Come Friday, I plan on logging 6-8 hours a day, if not more, until classes resume.

I rented four movies and didn't return them for a week. Now accepting donations to pay off late fines.

The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) says they are cracking down on people who download movies. This sounds like it will be about as successful as the government's war on drugs.

Just read this. I can't do it justice with any attempts at anything funny or otherwise. Hire me if you want. I'd love to be a Pro Wingman.

Okay, now to continue with the list of 21 things...

9) Baseball's Offseason I love the baseball offseason. I also hate it. I hate it because I know there is a better than 50% chance that the Twins will not be able to re-sign their free agents. Exhibits A and B: Cristian Guzman and Corey Koskie. I think the Twins are going to try out some JV kids from the Edina area to see if they can play SS or 3B.

Some somewhat bizarre signings: Are Kris Benson or Armando Benitez worth over 7 million a year? Remember when Benson's wife said that if he ever cheated on her, she would sleep with every player in the organization? Do you think that had anything to do with Pedro Martinez choosing the sign with them? And, I hope he does cheat on her. About a New York Met Fall Classic Gang Bang - the 2-Disc DVD Special Extended Explosive Extra XXX Edition. Back to Pedro, Omar Minyana better have a plan, because if Pedro is a 7 inning pitcher now, he's going to be a 5 inning pitcher in four years, even while facing pitchers in the batter's box.

The only I care about, so far, is Brad Radke re-signing with the Twins for two years. The Twins can afford to give up Koskie and Guzman, they will find a way to win without those guys, but Radke was essential for them to keep.

12 left.

Until then.





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