Friday, March 04, 2005
Hey, Funny Guy
If you did not get the "Show your face, Duck," or the "Move the beans, move the rice" lines from my last post, then I strongly urge you to see Pablo Francisco's DVD asap.
It is one of the top 5 funniest things I have ever seen.
Things you won't find on my top 5 list include:
The movie Anchorman
Third Degree Burns
Making fun of the fat kid (they run in my family, but not very fast)
The story about that one time when you said that one thing to that chick in that one bar...
Being sucked out on (Ladies, that's a poker term.)
Our President
Running out of beer
The closest I have come to having a girl request my company in the last (making a muffled sound with my hand over my mouth) months was earlier this week when a girl asked me to watch a 1977 Disney movie with her and her friend.
Most funerals
Birds chirpping in the early morning hours outside of my room
---
Don't ask me to complete my list of the top 5 funniest things I have ever seen because that would be impossible. There can only be one funniest, not 5.
So don't ask me to complete my list of the top 5 funny things I have ever seen, because I probably couldn't do it and I would probably hurt someone's feelings even if I could.
And that's not why I blog. Unless I have hurt your feelings on here, in which case, then it is exactly why I blog.
It is 6:34 and I haven't slept. I'm filling my mind with the female reproductive system, and not in a lustful way this time, but in a biological way for it is today in which my knowledge will be put to the test via an examination given by the very gnome-looking Dr. Weil. But I like him; he is a really good teacher. I just don't like school.
I also wrote a two page paper about abstinence only education. If you would like to read my viewpoint on the matter, then I refer you to my December 3rd, 2004, entry, in which a cnn.com article sent me on a tear.
Until I end this academic week.
It is one of the top 5 funniest things I have ever seen.
Things you won't find on my top 5 list include:
The movie Anchorman
Third Degree Burns
Making fun of the fat kid (they run in my family, but not very fast)
The story about that one time when you said that one thing to that chick in that one bar...
Being sucked out on (Ladies, that's a poker term.)
Our President
Running out of beer
The closest I have come to having a girl request my company in the last (making a muffled sound with my hand over my mouth) months was earlier this week when a girl asked me to watch a 1977 Disney movie with her and her friend.
Most funerals
Birds chirpping in the early morning hours outside of my room
---
Don't ask me to complete my list of the top 5 funniest things I have ever seen because that would be impossible. There can only be one funniest, not 5.
So don't ask me to complete my list of the top 5 funny things I have ever seen, because I probably couldn't do it and I would probably hurt someone's feelings even if I could.
And that's not why I blog. Unless I have hurt your feelings on here, in which case, then it is exactly why I blog.
It is 6:34 and I haven't slept. I'm filling my mind with the female reproductive system, and not in a lustful way this time, but in a biological way for it is today in which my knowledge will be put to the test via an examination given by the very gnome-looking Dr. Weil. But I like him; he is a really good teacher. I just don't like school.
I also wrote a two page paper about abstinence only education. If you would like to read my viewpoint on the matter, then I refer you to my December 3rd, 2004, entry, in which a cnn.com article sent me on a tear.
Until I end this academic week.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
03-04-05 -- March Forth (That is not a misspelling)
Jesse's going off about poker again in his blog. And tonight, I have no bitching to do. I've doubled up the money I put in play and while I'm studying I'm just going to sit around and wait for monster hands.
Eric just IM'ed me saying how badly he wanted to drink, but he has a test tomorrow. I share his pain. Friday tests? Outlawed if I'm ever a professor, which isn't out of the realm of possibility.
Many predictions were made today regarding the Connection's Minneapolis/St. Paul reunion. (That mean Jesse, Will, and I are headed to The Cities.)
There was one prediction about me "going all the way" with a midget.
I just wrote "going all the way," that's funny. Smile.
Jesse already wrote it in his blog, but I'm going to say it too:
March 11th and 12th: Parties at the 213. Show your face, Duck!
There is way too much to look forward to to sit around and do school work.
I'm dropping out. Who's with me?
I don't want to be the only 45 year old guy in Shee-nan's in 24 years.
Alright, thinking that thought has motivated me to study for this test so I'm not 45 years old and trying to pick up girls who snuck with a fake ID. Well, that wouldn't be so bad, I just don't want to do it at Shee-nan's.
I'm missing a party at Jesse's and Sara's this weekend. That's an unfortunate time conflict.
Peace.
Enjoy your weekends.
Celebrate 03/04/05.
Until The Next Time.
Wait. Hold on. Move the beans. Jesse just took down a monster pot and we had a brief celebratory conversation about it through the ceiling that divides us. Good for him. Good for Will for another huge tournament take down a few days ago. Good for me for being a up a good amount tonight. Good for us for going to The Cities. And good for Adam for turning 26 on 03-04-05. For a guy who loves fun with numbers as much as Adam does, it is fitting that his birthday falls on such a date.
Move the rice.
Now enjoy my four-picture tribute to the man with the birthday.
Deets Out.
Eric just IM'ed me saying how badly he wanted to drink, but he has a test tomorrow. I share his pain. Friday tests? Outlawed if I'm ever a professor, which isn't out of the realm of possibility.
Many predictions were made today regarding the Connection's Minneapolis/St. Paul reunion. (That mean Jesse, Will, and I are headed to The Cities.)
There was one prediction about me "going all the way" with a midget.
I just wrote "going all the way," that's funny. Smile.
Jesse already wrote it in his blog, but I'm going to say it too:
March 11th and 12th: Parties at the 213. Show your face, Duck!
There is way too much to look forward to to sit around and do school work.
I'm dropping out. Who's with me?
I don't want to be the only 45 year old guy in Shee-nan's in 24 years.
Alright, thinking that thought has motivated me to study for this test so I'm not 45 years old and trying to pick up girls who snuck with a fake ID. Well, that wouldn't be so bad, I just don't want to do it at Shee-nan's.
I'm missing a party at Jesse's and Sara's this weekend. That's an unfortunate time conflict.
Peace.
Enjoy your weekends.
Celebrate 03/04/05.
Until The Next Time.
Wait. Hold on. Move the beans. Jesse just took down a monster pot and we had a brief celebratory conversation about it through the ceiling that divides us. Good for him. Good for Will for another huge tournament take down a few days ago. Good for me for being a up a good amount tonight. Good for us for going to The Cities. And good for Adam for turning 26 on 03-04-05. For a guy who loves fun with numbers as much as Adam does, it is fitting that his birthday falls on such a date.
Move the rice.
Now enjoy my four-picture tribute to the man with the birthday.
Deets Out.
Happy 26th, Adam. Thank you for being my best friend who is eligible for the next age bracket in Gus Macker tournaments.
"Yeah, God? My friends just wanted to thank you for creating me."
Don't let anyone tell you Adam has lost any of this athletic prowess. Check out this follow through.
Look out ladies, see if you can keep up with 21st century Travolta.
"Wanna have a catch?"
The Sports Guy is holding a contest to choose his new intern. He asked his 17 remaining applicants what their favorite Sports Movie is, and not one of them said FIELD OF DREAMS!!!
That's both remarkable and absurd. Field of Dreams is hands down my favorite sports movie of all time, it's my favorite any movie of all time, and to read people giving answers like "Rounders," "The Big Lebowksi," and "Major League" is proposterous.
Those are are all good movies, I own Rounders, The Big Lebowski is my second favorite movie of all time, and I like all the Major League movies...even Back to the Minors, but they are not great sports movies. I would put Rounders in the same category as The Cincinnati Kid, The Hustler and The Color of Money. And if you're going to call The Big Lewbowski a sports movie, well, then you better be ready call King Pin a sports movie too.
So what does a great sports movie need?
First, sports needs to be the context of the movie, not what the movie is about. There needs to be a good human story behind it. It can't be all games and scores.
It needs to be a drama to be a great sports movie. Caddyshack is hilarious, but it's not a great sports movie.
It needs to be void of sappiness, cliche, or the way too cheesey ending, even if the true story fascilitates a cheesey ending, the movie needs to avoid cheeseing it up. But at the same time it needs to hit home with the viewer. The ending of Field of Dreams is a perfect example. It carries significant emotional weight, but it doesn't go overboard with the sentiment the last scene contains. It is uses one sentence, "Hey, Dad... ya wanna have a catch?" That's it. And you get it and feel it.
It needs to about a team sport. There is a reason why team sports are the most popular and there is a reason why they make the best sports movies. People can relate to them, even if a person didn't play any sports, they can relate to the camaraderie.
If I was Bill Simmons, I would scrap all those candidates and start over.
I'm not a huge fan of sports movies as a genre, mostly because the movies always seem to fuck up some part of the sport, do something wrong, use actors who look nothing like athletes. Also, Hollywood tends to be too sentimental about those kinds of stories.
So that's my take on that.
Until about 15 minutes.
That's both remarkable and absurd. Field of Dreams is hands down my favorite sports movie of all time, it's my favorite any movie of all time, and to read people giving answers like "Rounders," "The Big Lebowksi," and "Major League" is proposterous.
Those are are all good movies, I own Rounders, The Big Lebowski is my second favorite movie of all time, and I like all the Major League movies...even Back to the Minors, but they are not great sports movies. I would put Rounders in the same category as The Cincinnati Kid, The Hustler and The Color of Money. And if you're going to call The Big Lewbowski a sports movie, well, then you better be ready call King Pin a sports movie too.
So what does a great sports movie need?
First, sports needs to be the context of the movie, not what the movie is about. There needs to be a good human story behind it. It can't be all games and scores.
It needs to be a drama to be a great sports movie. Caddyshack is hilarious, but it's not a great sports movie.
It needs to be void of sappiness, cliche, or the way too cheesey ending, even if the true story fascilitates a cheesey ending, the movie needs to avoid cheeseing it up. But at the same time it needs to hit home with the viewer. The ending of Field of Dreams is a perfect example. It carries significant emotional weight, but it doesn't go overboard with the sentiment the last scene contains. It is uses one sentence, "Hey, Dad... ya wanna have a catch?" That's it. And you get it and feel it.
It needs to about a team sport. There is a reason why team sports are the most popular and there is a reason why they make the best sports movies. People can relate to them, even if a person didn't play any sports, they can relate to the camaraderie.
If I was Bill Simmons, I would scrap all those candidates and start over.
I'm not a huge fan of sports movies as a genre, mostly because the movies always seem to fuck up some part of the sport, do something wrong, use actors who look nothing like athletes. Also, Hollywood tends to be too sentimental about those kinds of stories.
So that's my take on that.
Until about 15 minutes.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Stupid People Complicate Simple Matters
So Terry Ryan didn't want me. I guess spelling Knoblauch right won't get you a job.
But I did get a job at a pizza joint today. For real.
I was walking past the currently under construction place when I saw a sign in the window that said they were hiring and so I thought to myself, "What the hell? Why not?" So I applied, interviewed, and was hired. I think I start next week.
There should be some quality stories from this experience for the blog.
Today in my Journalism Lab we had to read a speech and write a story about it. The speech she gave us was one of Bush's radio addresses and he was talking about the war on drugs, which I think we can all start admit will never ever ever ever ever ever ever be won. And he was saying he has a program called "common-sense prevention." If that doesn't sum up the state of the administration, then I don't know what does. Common sense prevention. Let's prevent people from having, using, or aknowleding common sense.
It's amazing, isn't it? How convoluted somethings can become. Keep it simple. Just keep it simple, people. Don't complicate simple matters, appreciate their simplicity.
Simple. Not A Simple Plan, they suck. Just Simple.
Until Later.
But I did get a job at a pizza joint today. For real.
I was walking past the currently under construction place when I saw a sign in the window that said they were hiring and so I thought to myself, "What the hell? Why not?" So I applied, interviewed, and was hired. I think I start next week.
There should be some quality stories from this experience for the blog.
Today in my Journalism Lab we had to read a speech and write a story about it. The speech she gave us was one of Bush's radio addresses and he was talking about the war on drugs, which I think we can all start admit will never ever ever ever ever ever ever be won. And he was saying he has a program called "common-sense prevention." If that doesn't sum up the state of the administration, then I don't know what does. Common sense prevention. Let's prevent people from having, using, or aknowleding common sense.
It's amazing, isn't it? How convoluted somethings can become. Keep it simple. Just keep it simple, people. Don't complicate simple matters, appreciate their simplicity.
Simple. Not A Simple Plan, they suck. Just Simple.
Until Later.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
It's What I Do
I have been watching DVD commentaries until 4-5 in the morning a lot lately. It may be hurting the collegiate academic career, but I'm looking at it as an investment in my future. I look at playing poker in the same way.
I own 133 DVD's, so I have many commentaries to go through and many commentaries to revisit.
A few of my favorites:
The House of Sand and Fog
American Beauty
The Usual Suspects
Moonlight Mile
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Those are a few.
It's amazing the thoughts that some commentaries can trigger. I need to start watching them with a pen in hand.
Until Later.
I own 133 DVD's, so I have many commentaries to go through and many commentaries to revisit.
A few of my favorites:
The House of Sand and Fog
American Beauty
The Usual Suspects
Moonlight Mile
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Those are a few.
It's amazing the thoughts that some commentaries can trigger. I need to start watching them with a pen in hand.
Until Later.
Leftovers
I just watched last Thursday's The OC for the first time.
Here are some thoughts:
It was cleaning day and leftovers night for the show. Rebecca, see ya. Lindsay, see ya. Marissa is out of the closet and out of closet space. Summer and Seth are back together. The show pretty much just undid the previous 4-5 episodes. They got rid of some really stupid plotlines.
And the Spiderman kiss at the end between Seth and Summer... fuckin' cheesey. Who let that happen?
The next new episode could be the season's groundhog day. It could forcast what the rest of the season will be like, if it will return to its first season form or if it will follow the daytime soap opera path that it has taken on this season.
I've been right in all my predictions so far, so in two weeks I think we'll be looking at The OC Doppler Radar showing us what is headed our way.
I was glad to see them take some of the plots and moments in the show more lightly this episode. For example, when Marissa told her mom about Alex and when Seth caught on to Marissa and Alex.
So that's that.
Moving on, last weekend kicked ass and I'm looking forward to this weekend matching, if not surpassing it, although I hear I missed a hell of a night in EC on Saturday.
Schulz kissed me on the neck on Saturday -- I don't know why. He claims it was accidental. I claim he has tendencies.
I kid.
My car and I went round after round this weekend. That's what I get for driving an already sketchy vehicle to Madison, then to LaCrosse, then back to EC, a total of about 7 hours road time.
I think it broke down about 13 times all together. What a bitch.
Someone asked me what I gave up for lent, I told them Christianity.
Monday's in Madison is great place to go. Unlike EC bars, they put plenty of booze in their drinks.
Poker ups and downs are continueing. I need to find that downhill slope to a pile of money sometime.
Jesse, Will, and I booked the spring break trip. It be we three headed forth to thee PCB for a week of debauchery and drunken stupidity. And I can't wait. Oh the stories we'll have to tell...
When is it my time to homewreck? It seems to be a pattern around here. Just wait 'til PCB when I inform some naive drunk girl that the zipcode rule really does exist and has been socially accepted.
Mike Tripp, Happy 21st, Buddy.
I scored an interview with the Twins tomorrow to possibly land an internship working with GM Terry Ryan's assistant. They were impressed that I knew how to spell Lombardozi and Knoblauch.
Tons of people working out lately getting ready for their swim gear on spring break. I should join you, but naps and poker always seem to get in the way.
I had a chance to see Jesse's two younger brothers play for the first time. They are good. Their teams are not so much. Ryan and Derek: March 12th!
3/4/5 is only days away. I hope the wheels in Adam's brain stay under control so he doesn't have a meltdown.
My brother Bryce knows as much as I do about what is going on in MLB... and he is 9.
We are debating on wether or not to catch Pablo Francisco in Birmingham, AL on our way down to PCB, FL. Pablo... hard to pass up, but the motivation to do it isn't there.
Spring Break must be a nervous time for some couples who may be insecure about where they stand. I imagine some people will be staying Up North in the cold being paranoid that their significant other is getting some better looking ass on some kick ass beach in some killer destination.
I'm a little all over the map today. Hang in there, I haven't posted in a few days so the kettle that is my brain is boiling over.
The Oscars: How great was it to have Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek presenting two awards together. Wow. That had to have made a few hundred boys who haven't hit puberty yet really fuckin' want to get there soon. Salma, thank you for that dress.
Jaime Foxx won, good. Morgan Freeman won, finally. Scorsese is pulling a Jason Kubel in clutch situations, he's 0-5 on Oscar night. Hilary Swank won, she might be a man and should never speak extemporaneously. Clint Eastwood... can you say Botox???
Annette Bening is an extra terrestrial. Drew Berrymore was hideous and she sucks. I could have used less Beyonce, more Salma, more awards given on the damn stage, less Antonio Banderas, and more Chris Rock and Mike Meyers. And with Robin Williams you never know what the fuck you're going to get, but he was pretty funny on Sunday.
Ladies, you want large breasts? Have twins like Julia Roberts did. Do you think Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal get it on? They might. The mechanic from Wings getting an Oscar nod? Never woulda thunk it.
Most out of place presenter: Puff Daddy. (his name change(s) still hasn't/haven't sunk in with me yet.
Best improv of the night: Jeremy Irons: "I hope they missed."
That's about it, I think.
Badgers won in exciting manner tonight.
Until The Next Time.
Here are some thoughts:
It was cleaning day and leftovers night for the show. Rebecca, see ya. Lindsay, see ya. Marissa is out of the closet and out of closet space. Summer and Seth are back together. The show pretty much just undid the previous 4-5 episodes. They got rid of some really stupid plotlines.
And the Spiderman kiss at the end between Seth and Summer... fuckin' cheesey. Who let that happen?
The next new episode could be the season's groundhog day. It could forcast what the rest of the season will be like, if it will return to its first season form or if it will follow the daytime soap opera path that it has taken on this season.
I've been right in all my predictions so far, so in two weeks I think we'll be looking at The OC Doppler Radar showing us what is headed our way.
I was glad to see them take some of the plots and moments in the show more lightly this episode. For example, when Marissa told her mom about Alex and when Seth caught on to Marissa and Alex.
So that's that.
Moving on, last weekend kicked ass and I'm looking forward to this weekend matching, if not surpassing it, although I hear I missed a hell of a night in EC on Saturday.
Schulz kissed me on the neck on Saturday -- I don't know why. He claims it was accidental. I claim he has tendencies.
I kid.
My car and I went round after round this weekend. That's what I get for driving an already sketchy vehicle to Madison, then to LaCrosse, then back to EC, a total of about 7 hours road time.
I think it broke down about 13 times all together. What a bitch.
Someone asked me what I gave up for lent, I told them Christianity.
Monday's in Madison is great place to go. Unlike EC bars, they put plenty of booze in their drinks.
Poker ups and downs are continueing. I need to find that downhill slope to a pile of money sometime.
Jesse, Will, and I booked the spring break trip. It be we three headed forth to thee PCB for a week of debauchery and drunken stupidity. And I can't wait. Oh the stories we'll have to tell...
When is it my time to homewreck? It seems to be a pattern around here. Just wait 'til PCB when I inform some naive drunk girl that the zipcode rule really does exist and has been socially accepted.
Mike Tripp, Happy 21st, Buddy.
I scored an interview with the Twins tomorrow to possibly land an internship working with GM Terry Ryan's assistant. They were impressed that I knew how to spell Lombardozi and Knoblauch.
Tons of people working out lately getting ready for their swim gear on spring break. I should join you, but naps and poker always seem to get in the way.
I had a chance to see Jesse's two younger brothers play for the first time. They are good. Their teams are not so much. Ryan and Derek: March 12th!
3/4/5 is only days away. I hope the wheels in Adam's brain stay under control so he doesn't have a meltdown.
My brother Bryce knows as much as I do about what is going on in MLB... and he is 9.
We are debating on wether or not to catch Pablo Francisco in Birmingham, AL on our way down to PCB, FL. Pablo... hard to pass up, but the motivation to do it isn't there.
Spring Break must be a nervous time for some couples who may be insecure about where they stand. I imagine some people will be staying Up North in the cold being paranoid that their significant other is getting some better looking ass on some kick ass beach in some killer destination.
I'm a little all over the map today. Hang in there, I haven't posted in a few days so the kettle that is my brain is boiling over.
The Oscars: How great was it to have Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek presenting two awards together. Wow. That had to have made a few hundred boys who haven't hit puberty yet really fuckin' want to get there soon. Salma, thank you for that dress.
Jaime Foxx won, good. Morgan Freeman won, finally. Scorsese is pulling a Jason Kubel in clutch situations, he's 0-5 on Oscar night. Hilary Swank won, she might be a man and should never speak extemporaneously. Clint Eastwood... can you say Botox???
Annette Bening is an extra terrestrial. Drew Berrymore was hideous and she sucks. I could have used less Beyonce, more Salma, more awards given on the damn stage, less Antonio Banderas, and more Chris Rock and Mike Meyers. And with Robin Williams you never know what the fuck you're going to get, but he was pretty funny on Sunday.
Ladies, you want large breasts? Have twins like Julia Roberts did. Do you think Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal get it on? They might. The mechanic from Wings getting an Oscar nod? Never woulda thunk it.
Most out of place presenter: Puff Daddy. (his name change(s) still hasn't/haven't sunk in with me yet.
Best improv of the night: Jeremy Irons: "I hope they missed."
That's about it, I think.
Badgers won in exciting manner tonight.
Until The Next Time.
