Thursday, July 14, 2005
Message in a Pizza Box.
I worked from 12:30-3:30 painting today and from 5-3:30 at Jeff and Jim's.
Here is the highlight from my day at work:
My friend and former roommate Shane is back in town this week working a basketball camp. He has 12 Ninth grade characters to mold and games to improve - and just one week to do so and leave a lasting impact.
This morning he was running drills with them and had them see how many right handed lay-ups they could make in 2 minutes. Then he had them do the same on the left side. He made a wager with them that if they made the same or more on the left side then he would buy them pizza from Jeff and Jim's for dinner. They made more on the left side. He lost.
So Shane saunters into Jeff and Jim's and orders two 20" pizzas for carry out that is he going to bring up to the dorms for these 12 sexually curious, hormone-raging adolescents to enjoy.
As I am packing Shane's giant pizzas into their boxes and cutting them up I start to feel a little mischievous. Who doesn't enjoy a little practical joke? I decided to include a message on the inside of each pizza box. I wrote my messages with a Sharpie on the flip side of each box's lid.
Background info necessary to the story: Shane has been having 90 minute long conversations with a girl whose name we do not mention every night since July 2nd. They have met in various towns in Wisconsin to enjoy each other's company and have also made plans to meet in a few other towns in the future. I don't think a town has or will be repeated yet. Interesting but not at all need-to-know information. Continueing...
On the first box I wrote: "ASK SHANE ABOUT *HIS GIRL*. MAKE HIM TELL YOU; DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!"
On the second box I wrote: "SHANE KISSED ANOTHER GUY ONCE."
After Shane picked the pizzas up, I payed a little closer attention to my phone, on vibrate, and in my pocket. About 15 minutes later I get a call... "Dude, uncalled for... They want her phone number and won't stop!" Then we both laughed.
Ten minutes later a co-worker tells me I have a phone call on line one. I pick it up:
ME: "Thanks for holding, This is Brent."
CALLER: "Dude, We just opened the other box! Thanks a lot, man..."
More laughter.
Another ten minutes passes.
Same thing.
ME: "Thanks for holding; this is Brent."
CALLER: "Hi, I'm one of Shane's basketball players... Did he really kiss a guy?"
ME: "Yep."
CALLER: "Thanks a lot! Now we have to run extra sprints and do wall sits."
ME: "Why?"
CALLER: "'Cause of what you wrote on the boxes!"
ME: "Sorry, Dude, I gotta go."
Click.
Fun at work. You gotta have fun at work.
Baseball Tomorrow.
Until The Next.
And... Thanks for the anonymous post, Jesse, include your name next time -- gutless.
Here is the highlight from my day at work:
My friend and former roommate Shane is back in town this week working a basketball camp. He has 12 Ninth grade characters to mold and games to improve - and just one week to do so and leave a lasting impact.
This morning he was running drills with them and had them see how many right handed lay-ups they could make in 2 minutes. Then he had them do the same on the left side. He made a wager with them that if they made the same or more on the left side then he would buy them pizza from Jeff and Jim's for dinner. They made more on the left side. He lost.
So Shane saunters into Jeff and Jim's and orders two 20" pizzas for carry out that is he going to bring up to the dorms for these 12 sexually curious, hormone-raging adolescents to enjoy.
As I am packing Shane's giant pizzas into their boxes and cutting them up I start to feel a little mischievous. Who doesn't enjoy a little practical joke? I decided to include a message on the inside of each pizza box. I wrote my messages with a Sharpie on the flip side of each box's lid.
Background info necessary to the story: Shane has been having 90 minute long conversations with a girl whose name we do not mention every night since July 2nd. They have met in various towns in Wisconsin to enjoy each other's company and have also made plans to meet in a few other towns in the future. I don't think a town has or will be repeated yet. Interesting but not at all need-to-know information. Continueing...
On the first box I wrote: "ASK SHANE ABOUT *HIS GIRL*. MAKE HIM TELL YOU; DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!"
On the second box I wrote: "SHANE KISSED ANOTHER GUY ONCE."
After Shane picked the pizzas up, I payed a little closer attention to my phone, on vibrate, and in my pocket. About 15 minutes later I get a call... "Dude, uncalled for... They want her phone number and won't stop!" Then we both laughed.
Ten minutes later a co-worker tells me I have a phone call on line one. I pick it up:
ME: "Thanks for holding, This is Brent."
CALLER: "Dude, We just opened the other box! Thanks a lot, man..."
More laughter.
Another ten minutes passes.
Same thing.
ME: "Thanks for holding; this is Brent."
CALLER: "Hi, I'm one of Shane's basketball players... Did he really kiss a guy?"
ME: "Yep."
CALLER: "Thanks a lot! Now we have to run extra sprints and do wall sits."
ME: "Why?"
CALLER: "'Cause of what you wrote on the boxes!"
ME: "Sorry, Dude, I gotta go."
Click.
Fun at work. You gotta have fun at work.
Baseball Tomorrow.
Until The Next.
And... Thanks for the anonymous post, Jesse, include your name next time -- gutless.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
John Tesh, Poker, and Me
I was at work the other day and the radio was on a station that "plays all the hits from the '80's, '90's, and today!" But now apparently they are also playing the John Tesh Show from 7-12 every weeknight.
I'm not a big radio listener. I hate Top 40 radio. The only things I listen to are The Jim Rome Show when I'm able to catch it or a classic rock station in the car. I listen to Jim Rome not because I'm a "clone" (aka, Rome Cock Sucker), but because the guy just goes for what seems like 20 minutes about the same small thing. His synonym usage is also quite entertaining. For example, Johnny Damon does not have hair, he has "lettuce." You don't make big money, you take home huge jack. Today some idiot caller was ranting about Cal Ripkin being overrated and very average and blah, blah, blah. Rome had a field day with it and proceeded to proclaim how "Cal Ripkin does not suck" for an extended period of time. He continued, "Maybe Alex Cora or Hee Sop Choi... maybe Billy Ripkin... but Cal Ripkin does not suck... (long pause) I may not know everything, I might not even know very much, but I do know that Cal Ripkin does not suck... (another long pause) 19 all-star games, 2 MVP's (long pause) the guy just does not suck..." Classic Rome shit.
Back to my point in discussing radio: John Tesh's show. The Jim Rome discussion I just wrote actually does have relevance here because today at work I called John Tesh the Christian Radio version of Jim Rome. Every two or three songs Teshie gives anywhere from 5-10 hints, clues, bits of advice and the such on how to improve your relationship, how to be more productive, how to resolve conflict. I don't think I could ever see myself taking life advice from a former host of Entertainment Tonight.
John Tesh sucks.
As soon as I realized what I was listening to I started to pay attention to the crap he was spewing over the radiowaves. And then the very next song I heard was by Michael Bolton and that right there pretty much sums it all up.
Tesh said this, I wrote it down at work, "If it doesn't make you better, healthier, or happier, you won't find it on the John Tesh Show."
Right after Teshie said the word "show" my co-worker, Geoff, uttered this priceless line, "God, I hate that fucker."
I concur, Geoff.
The Home Run Derby Last Night.
Does it really need to last 3 and a half hours? I was bored after watching Jason Bay toss up a zero after Bobby Atreu's 24 dongs. (Note The NeverEnding Story reference - Credit to Will.)
3 and a half hours. Stupid. There has to be a way to quicken it up. And who the hell wants to see Jason Bay and Hop Sop Choi (as he's known around here) in the Dinger Derby? Not me. I want to see Derek Lee, Soriano, Pujols, and Omar Vizquel in it.
Somebody told me Tiffani (No Amber) Theisen got married to a dude named Brady Smith. I don't know about that, but I did hear the Kelly Kaposki married a guy with the same name.
Doesn't the name Karl Rove just seem like it belongs in controversy? Doesn't it seem like it belongs among names like Richard Nixon and Gary Conditt, names and men who will go down in scandal? Is there any other possible way out for Rove?
In a related issue, is Karl Rove really the president and GWB just a figurehead?
Karl Rove, what a fucker. Is there a better word for him than "Fucker?"
With the apparent return of my blog, I have to link you to a new blog by my buddy Joe Theismann, err, I mean Aaron. Read it, you'll get it. Maybe after he's done being Theismann he'll pull a Namath.
I am no longer eligible for Cell Phone Insurance after breaking my second one in 6 months. Sweet. It happened at Summerfest at the Talib Kweli show, which was awesome, even though I could only hear it and not see much of him because of our shitty standing location.
The show was great, but the aftermath was better. At about 2 am, Will , Schulz and I decide to hit the casino up and play some hold em. Seven and a half hours later I can't see straight or think clearly. I wasn't drunk, just so damn tired. Each of the previous two nights I collected only 3-4 hours of sleep and then I ran into this one. And sobering up while awake always sucks.
Some dude wearing a Harley hat and a very shitty mustache sat down at our table and the first thing he said was "Anyone watch the race last night?" I almost fell out of my chair laughing.
Check out Jesse's Blog. Since when does Molly Menard play in the WSOP? And, how about my roommate adding another "interesting" face to his collection of published pictures in newspapers.
Eau Claire Gus Macker was last weekend. 95 degrees in EC for the Tourney. Nothing like spending 5-6 hours a day in that weather playing basketball. My team took fourth on our court, my best finish in 6 years thanks to Schulz, Tommy Dean, and Tony Hull. Will and Jesse played with Casey Drake and Jesse's bro Ryan and did very well, finishing second.
Anna Benson. How about Anna Benson? Wife of Met Pitcher Kris Benson, woman who swore to sleep with every one of his teammates if she ever caught him cheating on her, got her ass tossed out of the WSOP's Main Event this year for her "foul mouth." That's fucking great. Her and Mike The Mouth's 40 minute penalty for breaking "The F-Bomb Rule" have highlighted the potty mouthing so far. Rome had a few things to say about that today.
Does anyone want to see Raymer leading on Day Three? Nope. The dude is a douchebag. It's that simple.
Should Kenny Rogers play in the all-star game? Yes. So what if he kicked a camera and the man holding it. Should Rodman give his championship ring back from that season? Quitcherbitchin.
Worst song ever? The Whisper Song by the Ying Yang Twins. Who walks out to it as he is going to hit? Carlos Lee. Yuck Fou, Brewer Fans.
Alright, time for a nap, glad to be back, hope you're glad too.
See you in 7 more weeks.
I keed.
Until The Next.
I'm not a big radio listener. I hate Top 40 radio. The only things I listen to are The Jim Rome Show when I'm able to catch it or a classic rock station in the car. I listen to Jim Rome not because I'm a "clone" (aka, Rome Cock Sucker), but because the guy just goes for what seems like 20 minutes about the same small thing. His synonym usage is also quite entertaining. For example, Johnny Damon does not have hair, he has "lettuce." You don't make big money, you take home huge jack. Today some idiot caller was ranting about Cal Ripkin being overrated and very average and blah, blah, blah. Rome had a field day with it and proceeded to proclaim how "Cal Ripkin does not suck" for an extended period of time. He continued, "Maybe Alex Cora or Hee Sop Choi... maybe Billy Ripkin... but Cal Ripkin does not suck... (long pause) I may not know everything, I might not even know very much, but I do know that Cal Ripkin does not suck... (another long pause) 19 all-star games, 2 MVP's (long pause) the guy just does not suck..." Classic Rome shit.
Back to my point in discussing radio: John Tesh's show. The Jim Rome discussion I just wrote actually does have relevance here because today at work I called John Tesh the Christian Radio version of Jim Rome. Every two or three songs Teshie gives anywhere from 5-10 hints, clues, bits of advice and the such on how to improve your relationship, how to be more productive, how to resolve conflict. I don't think I could ever see myself taking life advice from a former host of Entertainment Tonight.
John Tesh sucks.
As soon as I realized what I was listening to I started to pay attention to the crap he was spewing over the radiowaves. And then the very next song I heard was by Michael Bolton and that right there pretty much sums it all up.
Tesh said this, I wrote it down at work, "If it doesn't make you better, healthier, or happier, you won't find it on the John Tesh Show."
Right after Teshie said the word "show" my co-worker, Geoff, uttered this priceless line, "God, I hate that fucker."
I concur, Geoff.
The Home Run Derby Last Night.
Does it really need to last 3 and a half hours? I was bored after watching Jason Bay toss up a zero after Bobby Atreu's 24 dongs. (Note The NeverEnding Story reference - Credit to Will.)
3 and a half hours. Stupid. There has to be a way to quicken it up. And who the hell wants to see Jason Bay and Hop Sop Choi (as he's known around here) in the Dinger Derby? Not me. I want to see Derek Lee, Soriano, Pujols, and Omar Vizquel in it.
Somebody told me Tiffani (No Amber) Theisen got married to a dude named Brady Smith. I don't know about that, but I did hear the Kelly Kaposki married a guy with the same name.
Doesn't the name Karl Rove just seem like it belongs in controversy? Doesn't it seem like it belongs among names like Richard Nixon and Gary Conditt, names and men who will go down in scandal? Is there any other possible way out for Rove?
In a related issue, is Karl Rove really the president and GWB just a figurehead?
Karl Rove, what a fucker. Is there a better word for him than "Fucker?"
With the apparent return of my blog, I have to link you to a new blog by my buddy Joe Theismann, err, I mean Aaron. Read it, you'll get it. Maybe after he's done being Theismann he'll pull a Namath.
I am no longer eligible for Cell Phone Insurance after breaking my second one in 6 months. Sweet. It happened at Summerfest at the Talib Kweli show, which was awesome, even though I could only hear it and not see much of him because of our shitty standing location.
The show was great, but the aftermath was better. At about 2 am, Will , Schulz and I decide to hit the casino up and play some hold em. Seven and a half hours later I can't see straight or think clearly. I wasn't drunk, just so damn tired. Each of the previous two nights I collected only 3-4 hours of sleep and then I ran into this one. And sobering up while awake always sucks.
Some dude wearing a Harley hat and a very shitty mustache sat down at our table and the first thing he said was "Anyone watch the race last night?" I almost fell out of my chair laughing.
Check out Jesse's Blog. Since when does Molly Menard play in the WSOP? And, how about my roommate adding another "interesting" face to his collection of published pictures in newspapers.
Eau Claire Gus Macker was last weekend. 95 degrees in EC for the Tourney. Nothing like spending 5-6 hours a day in that weather playing basketball. My team took fourth on our court, my best finish in 6 years thanks to Schulz, Tommy Dean, and Tony Hull. Will and Jesse played with Casey Drake and Jesse's bro Ryan and did very well, finishing second.
Anna Benson. How about Anna Benson? Wife of Met Pitcher Kris Benson, woman who swore to sleep with every one of his teammates if she ever caught him cheating on her, got her ass tossed out of the WSOP's Main Event this year for her "foul mouth." That's fucking great. Her and Mike The Mouth's 40 minute penalty for breaking "The F-Bomb Rule" have highlighted the potty mouthing so far. Rome had a few things to say about that today.
Does anyone want to see Raymer leading on Day Three? Nope. The dude is a douchebag. It's that simple.
Should Kenny Rogers play in the all-star game? Yes. So what if he kicked a camera and the man holding it. Should Rodman give his championship ring back from that season? Quitcherbitchin.
Worst song ever? The Whisper Song by the Ying Yang Twins. Who walks out to it as he is going to hit? Carlos Lee. Yuck Fou, Brewer Fans.
Alright, time for a nap, glad to be back, hope you're glad too.
See you in 7 more weeks.
I keed.
Until The Next.
