Field of Deets

I have to get this out of my head because I'm trying to plow through this novel, Feast of Love, by Charles Baxter, for my creative writing class, and I can't read because I keep thinking about it.

When I was brushing my teeth this morning I was thinking about fruit. Don't ask why because I don't know why, I was just thinking about fruit. It's a very strange thing, don't you think?

I mean, you have apples which are pretty hard, but then you also have bananas which are very soft. They both have something protecting the meat, but you eat the skin on apples and discard the peels of both bananas and oranges. You don't peel grapes either. Sometimes you cut apples into halves or quarters or eigths to eat in slices. You never eat a banana this way. Oranges are juicey. Apples are not. Niether are bananas. But both apples and oranges have juices that are common drinks. Apple has a pucker. Orange does not. There is 99 Bananas. Where are the banana seeds? Apples and oranges have them, some grapes do and those grapes suck. I find it annoying when people over 12 use oranges as a mouthguard. Where did the joke about slipping on a banana peel come from? Has anyone actually ever done that? Are the grapes the most choked upon fruit? Why aren't some fruits more common, like a grapefruit or watermelon? They are both fairly common, but not close to apples, bananas, oranges, or grapes. What happened to Johnny WatermelonSeed?

Then I spit, rinsed, smiled in the mirror, and left.