Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Deets Brought to you by Folgers
Marion Raven and I are over. She just wasn't making herself as available to me as I need her to be. Our relationship was becoming monotonous and routine. All I saw of her was the same thing over and over and over. I will always hold a special place in my heart for her, but for now I am going to have to move on to a celebrity who has more to offer me. I have needs, too!
Speaking of needs, some people have simpler ones than others, and those are the people we ignore the most.
When I took a semester off school I managed a pizza place. I met some very interesting people at that place. My employees and the regular customers of this store had all sorts of heartbreaking life stories. There were high school girls whose boyfriends beat them up at prom, then stole their money to buy coke. There were meth heads who abandoned their families and were overjoyed with a fifty cent raise. There were parents buying their 14 and 15 year olds kids cigs and booze. There were stories of drop outs, meth, pregnancies, evictions, addictions, and beatings, and I heard something like that everyday I worked there. If it didn't come from an employee, it came from a customer who just came in to get a bite to eat and perhaps to find someone to lend him or her an ear for a minute.
It's amazing how just listening to someone for a few minutes can brighten their day. Listening is a great temporary cure for lonliness and escape from despair. People who have been beaten down by life sometimes just need an open ear for five minutes. All they are looking for is that look in the listeners eye that says, "Yes, I am listening to you." It's the easiest thing in the world to give. And it might keep that person going all day. I can't tell you how often I just stood and listened to a customer talk to me like they had known me for a decade.
This blog post was literally made possible and brought to you by Folgers Coffee Singles. Right now, Folgers is my fuel. I am trying to finish up this paper and I've been up all night. But I haven't pulled a good all nighter in a while and I actually enjoy them. I have two presentations to give today as well. This will be an interesting Tuesday. I should have a documentary crew to follow me around for this shit as a PSA to all incoming freshman: "Do not do as this guy does. It isn't healthy." But it's sometimes how I do my best work.
The night has actually gone quite quickly and morning will be here soon. The key to my day will be keeping the coffee intake steady. An IV would probably work best, but I think I'm stuck with the traditional way of injesting caffeine.
In 12 hours I can just put my feet up and sleep. Or get drunk. I will be out on Water St. in about 17 hours. I hope to see you there. I'm making Cassie sing kareokee this week. Help me make her. If you know Cassie and haven't heard her sing, you really should. She's great. But she does a good job of keeping that a secret from the rest of the world.
Listen to somebody today. Don't be thinking about what you're going to say next or a story that you can tell them about something similar. Bite your lip, ignore your desire to hear your own voice. Just listen.
My number one pet peeve probably in all the world: someone responding to something you've told them with a story about themselves. If the subject of my mom's death comes up in conversation and I say something about it and someone says something to me about when their dog died when they were nine it makes me want to just get up in the middle of their story and walk away. The level of respect that would show them is about the same as they showed me. This happens all the time. And it's all because people don't listen, they are too busy thinking about how this conversation applies to their own life and how they can bring their own stories into the conversation to turn the focus on themselves.
When I meet new people my favorite thing to do is listen to them talk (unless I'm drunk). You can learn so much about a person just by letting them talk. Ask them a few questions and let them roll. People might think you're shy, but really you're just listening. There is a difference.
Listening is an underappreciated, underused, underdeveloped, and underacquired skill. Talking is the opposite.
Folgers will keep you awake, but it will not keep you focused.
Until The Next
Speaking of needs, some people have simpler ones than others, and those are the people we ignore the most.
When I took a semester off school I managed a pizza place. I met some very interesting people at that place. My employees and the regular customers of this store had all sorts of heartbreaking life stories. There were high school girls whose boyfriends beat them up at prom, then stole their money to buy coke. There were meth heads who abandoned their families and were overjoyed with a fifty cent raise. There were parents buying their 14 and 15 year olds kids cigs and booze. There were stories of drop outs, meth, pregnancies, evictions, addictions, and beatings, and I heard something like that everyday I worked there. If it didn't come from an employee, it came from a customer who just came in to get a bite to eat and perhaps to find someone to lend him or her an ear for a minute.
It's amazing how just listening to someone for a few minutes can brighten their day. Listening is a great temporary cure for lonliness and escape from despair. People who have been beaten down by life sometimes just need an open ear for five minutes. All they are looking for is that look in the listeners eye that says, "Yes, I am listening to you." It's the easiest thing in the world to give. And it might keep that person going all day. I can't tell you how often I just stood and listened to a customer talk to me like they had known me for a decade.
This blog post was literally made possible and brought to you by Folgers Coffee Singles. Right now, Folgers is my fuel. I am trying to finish up this paper and I've been up all night. But I haven't pulled a good all nighter in a while and I actually enjoy them. I have two presentations to give today as well. This will be an interesting Tuesday. I should have a documentary crew to follow me around for this shit as a PSA to all incoming freshman: "Do not do as this guy does. It isn't healthy." But it's sometimes how I do my best work.
The night has actually gone quite quickly and morning will be here soon. The key to my day will be keeping the coffee intake steady. An IV would probably work best, but I think I'm stuck with the traditional way of injesting caffeine.
In 12 hours I can just put my feet up and sleep. Or get drunk. I will be out on Water St. in about 17 hours. I hope to see you there. I'm making Cassie sing kareokee this week. Help me make her. If you know Cassie and haven't heard her sing, you really should. She's great. But she does a good job of keeping that a secret from the rest of the world.
Listen to somebody today. Don't be thinking about what you're going to say next or a story that you can tell them about something similar. Bite your lip, ignore your desire to hear your own voice. Just listen.
My number one pet peeve probably in all the world: someone responding to something you've told them with a story about themselves. If the subject of my mom's death comes up in conversation and I say something about it and someone says something to me about when their dog died when they were nine it makes me want to just get up in the middle of their story and walk away. The level of respect that would show them is about the same as they showed me. This happens all the time. And it's all because people don't listen, they are too busy thinking about how this conversation applies to their own life and how they can bring their own stories into the conversation to turn the focus on themselves.
When I meet new people my favorite thing to do is listen to them talk (unless I'm drunk). You can learn so much about a person just by letting them talk. Ask them a few questions and let them roll. People might think you're shy, but really you're just listening. There is a difference.
Listening is an underappreciated, underused, underdeveloped, and underacquired skill. Talking is the opposite.
Folgers will keep you awake, but it will not keep you focused.
Until The Next
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You are so smart Brent. I just thought you should know that. I think you are very very talented.
Cat :)
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Cat :)
# posted by 
: 7:55 PM, November 21, 2006
: 7:55 PM, November 21, 2006<< Home
