Thursday, November 09, 2006
Side Boob
Yes, Ms. Bula, I did rip off the title from the Sister Act sequel. I suck.
What a great Rutgers-Louisville game tonight. An offsides penalty on the D to give the kicker a second chance at a FG he missed to win it with 27 seconds left in the game? That's drama... and it wasn't even on TNT. Bum Bum (that was the Law & Order sound).
What in the hell are the voters going to do with Rutgers now? They are an undefeated team in the Big East. And how do they possibly rank all the one-loss teams from big conferences: Texas, Cal, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Notre Dame (I know, they don't belong to a conference), Louisville, USC, Florida, Auburn, Arkansas - and Boise State is undefeated. There are those 12 teams plus Ohio State and Michigan. Who is going to get the BCS Bowl bids? Some teams better start getting ready to get screwed with their pants on. If Ohio State loses to Michigan and Wisconsin wins out, then Ohio State and Wisconsin will both have one loss and that only loss being to the same team: Michigan. Can they screw Wisconsin out of a BCS bowl? If Wisconsin doesn't get one, is it a screw job? There has to be a better way to do this... What do they do in other sports... I wish someone would come up with an idea... How about PLAYOFFS?!? Yeah, Jim Mora. Playoffs?!? FORM A PLAYOFF SYSTEM! Right now you have 14 teams who could lay claim to a BCS bowl bid. Why not stick them in a bracket and have a tournament?
On to the Sunday league...
Most annoying trend of the 2006 NFL Season: Coaches listing every player who matters on their injury report as "Questionable." This madness needs to end. It is seriously fucking with my fantasy football team and the teams of millions of owners all over the country. By now opposing coaches have to have decided just ignore it and prepare for the team as if they are full strength.
The Office was hilarious tonight. That is one show that has never had a bad episode. Not too many shows can claim that. If you're not watching it, you really are missing out. And if you don't like it then I'm not sure we can ever have a conversation.
New musical artist to look out for: Marion Raven. She's a 22 year old babe from Norway who has a phenomenal voice. There aren't a lot of chicks out there who can sing rock and roll well, as Cassie pointed out to me, and Marion Raven has a good rock voice. And a killer body.
Some of you may remember her as one half of M2M. Well, she grew up. She's got a single called "Heads Will Roll" that she co-wrote with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. How did she get teamed up with Nikki Sixx? I thought you might be wondering.
And this is where I have to reveal my biggest guilty pleasure as a music fan when talking to people about Marion Raven.
I love Meat Loaf. The guy is great. Great voice, great videos (mini-movies, really), huge concepts. You have to like Meat Loaf. You just do.
Anyway, Marion Raven and Meat Loaf teamed up to cover Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." Except that song was originally written in 1986 for Meat Loaf's second Bat Out of Hell album. It didn't make it on and the crazy Canadian bitch with the huge head recorded it. Meat Loaf thought it should be a duet so he put it on his third Bat Out of Hell album and recorded it with Marion Raven.
Back to Nikki Sixx. He wrote some material for Meat's Bat Out of Hell III (released a week and a half ago or so. No, I don't own it) and I'm guessing that's how he and Marion Raven came together. Or he brought her into the Meat Loaf project. Either way, there is overlap.
Wow, I've written far too much about this. When I saw her and heard her I became seriously obsessed in a very brief amount of time. The obsession has since dwindled. You should all check her out and watch the videos on her website. You get some great side boob shots.
Side Boob is different than cleavage. With cleavage you see the top, inside part of the boob. But with side boob, you see the whole side of the boob. It is not just boobs pushed up and in, but it revealing the entire side of the boob. I prefer outside side boob to inside side boob just because outside side boob is less common, but you never complain when you see side boob. Marion Raven shows some great inside side boob in her video for "Heads Will Roll." Girls, if you want to get some guys attention, you have to go beyond cleavage. We appreciate cleavage. There's nothing wrong it. But you have to stretch the limits a little bit. You have to go for side boob.
From side boob to just a plain boob...
Isn't that funny? We call an idiot or a dunse a boob, but boobs are so great so why do we call them that? What is the genesis of this practice? Whatever.
Yesterday I didn't write about Rumsfeld getting canned, scratch that, resigning, because I didn't really know much. Today I don't know anything more than I did yesterday. But here is my take:
Was his resignation overdue? Yes. Was the timing politically motivated? Duh.
But here is the kicker that people need to be aware of. There is no way that average American citizens can evaluate the job that the Secretary of Defense does. I'm not at all defending Rumsfeld. I've never liked him. But I am no where near educated enough in the appropriate matters to say he sucks at his job. He was a major proponent for a war I disagreed with from the start. He sucks a public speaking. And he just seems slimy. The thing that made it for me was hearing all of the Generals speaking out against him and the war and the way he was running the war. You don't see a lot of career military men speaking out aganist their own. That's convincing stuff. But there are so many issues on which average American citizens just cannot make informed decisions on. That's why we elect people smarter than we and hope they appoint the right people. Where we went wrong here is when we elected someone not smarter than we. Whoops.
Quick Story:
I had a buddy out on a date tonight. I sent him about a dozen very perverted text messages while he was at dinner with her. I wasn't trying to sabotage the date, just trying to make him laugh and put him in an uncomfortable situation. I succeeded. And his date went well. I swear to whatever god you believe in that I am 23 years old.
I was running through some old columns written by The Sports Guy (Bill Simmons, ESPN.com Page 2) and I came across this one, which I remember reading in Josh and Beth Peterson's bedroom before they were married when they lived with Adam in the basement of an apartment building in Minneapolis.
He was asked a question about having a test for a girlfriend or some shit.
I am happy to say that Cassie passed the FOD Test with colors that flew. How can you not appreciate the sentiment in that movie? You heartless fuck.
And then, further down in the column, there is this bit about The OC.
Q: Do you think "The OC" has "Beverly Hills: 90210" potential? -- Joe Dyton, Trenton, N.J.
SG: Potentially. The pilot was tremendous -- I haven't enjoyed bad TV that much since the heyday of "Melrose Place." They incorporated elements of "90210," "The Karate Kid" and just about every '80s movie ever made (evil boyfriends, hot chicks falling for soft-spoken outcasts, the whole shebang). It's extremely well-done (the first two episodes were directed by Doug Liman, who also did "Swingers" and "Go"). The acting was just good enough that it didn't detract from the show. Everyone looked good, which is always important. There were just enough holes in the plot that it made you think, "Hey, wait a second ..." And the music was perfect. Of course. I see a few problems here. First of all, the pilot was considerably better than the second show. That scares me. Second, the lead actor (Benjamin McKenzie) is a little too old to be playing a 16-year-old outcast. He's fine now, but in two years, he could go Ziering on us. Third, in the second episode, one of the characters fondly remembers watching the Pistons-Lakers Finals in "'86." Just an egregious mistake. Makes me wonder if the writers are paying attention. But here's the big thing: None of the "OC" actors -- with the possible exception of the Aryan boyfriend -- are bad enough to rate on the Unintentional Comedy Scale, an integral part of 90210's success. Remember David Silver singing and dancing, Tori Spelling's cleavage (which looked like a a thumbprint in a pound of ground beef), Noah Hunter rattling out his lines like his mouth was on fire, or every scene with Ian Ziering? Remember Dr. Michael Mancini on "Melrose," or the immortal Andrew Shue? I'm not sure "The OC" has these things, which brings it closer to "Dawson's Creek" than anything. And that was the problem with "Dawson" -- it always took itself too seriously. That's why I didn't like that show. Josh Jackson stumbling through his lines can only go so far. Anyway, my jury's still out on "The OC." After two weeks, I can only give it a 15 out of 10. We'll see if that changes. And if you don't like it ... well, "Welcome to the SG, bitch."
That was a gift from me to you OC fans out there. I'm done with that show.
Tomorrow I'm headed for Madison for a weekend with the crew from the 213.
Be in touch.
Until The Next.
What a great Rutgers-Louisville game tonight. An offsides penalty on the D to give the kicker a second chance at a FG he missed to win it with 27 seconds left in the game? That's drama... and it wasn't even on TNT. Bum Bum (that was the Law & Order sound).
What in the hell are the voters going to do with Rutgers now? They are an undefeated team in the Big East. And how do they possibly rank all the one-loss teams from big conferences: Texas, Cal, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Notre Dame (I know, they don't belong to a conference), Louisville, USC, Florida, Auburn, Arkansas - and Boise State is undefeated. There are those 12 teams plus Ohio State and Michigan. Who is going to get the BCS Bowl bids? Some teams better start getting ready to get screwed with their pants on. If Ohio State loses to Michigan and Wisconsin wins out, then Ohio State and Wisconsin will both have one loss and that only loss being to the same team: Michigan. Can they screw Wisconsin out of a BCS bowl? If Wisconsin doesn't get one, is it a screw job? There has to be a better way to do this... What do they do in other sports... I wish someone would come up with an idea... How about PLAYOFFS?!? Yeah, Jim Mora. Playoffs?!? FORM A PLAYOFF SYSTEM! Right now you have 14 teams who could lay claim to a BCS bowl bid. Why not stick them in a bracket and have a tournament?
On to the Sunday league...
Most annoying trend of the 2006 NFL Season: Coaches listing every player who matters on their injury report as "Questionable." This madness needs to end. It is seriously fucking with my fantasy football team and the teams of millions of owners all over the country. By now opposing coaches have to have decided just ignore it and prepare for the team as if they are full strength.
The Office was hilarious tonight. That is one show that has never had a bad episode. Not too many shows can claim that. If you're not watching it, you really are missing out. And if you don't like it then I'm not sure we can ever have a conversation.
New musical artist to look out for: Marion Raven. She's a 22 year old babe from Norway who has a phenomenal voice. There aren't a lot of chicks out there who can sing rock and roll well, as Cassie pointed out to me, and Marion Raven has a good rock voice. And a killer body.
Some of you may remember her as one half of M2M. Well, she grew up. She's got a single called "Heads Will Roll" that she co-wrote with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. How did she get teamed up with Nikki Sixx? I thought you might be wondering.
And this is where I have to reveal my biggest guilty pleasure as a music fan when talking to people about Marion Raven.
I love Meat Loaf. The guy is great. Great voice, great videos (mini-movies, really), huge concepts. You have to like Meat Loaf. You just do.
Anyway, Marion Raven and Meat Loaf teamed up to cover Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." Except that song was originally written in 1986 for Meat Loaf's second Bat Out of Hell album. It didn't make it on and the crazy Canadian bitch with the huge head recorded it. Meat Loaf thought it should be a duet so he put it on his third Bat Out of Hell album and recorded it with Marion Raven.
Back to Nikki Sixx. He wrote some material for Meat's Bat Out of Hell III (released a week and a half ago or so. No, I don't own it) and I'm guessing that's how he and Marion Raven came together. Or he brought her into the Meat Loaf project. Either way, there is overlap.
Wow, I've written far too much about this. When I saw her and heard her I became seriously obsessed in a very brief amount of time. The obsession has since dwindled. You should all check her out and watch the videos on her website. You get some great side boob shots.
Side Boob is different than cleavage. With cleavage you see the top, inside part of the boob. But with side boob, you see the whole side of the boob. It is not just boobs pushed up and in, but it revealing the entire side of the boob. I prefer outside side boob to inside side boob just because outside side boob is less common, but you never complain when you see side boob. Marion Raven shows some great inside side boob in her video for "Heads Will Roll." Girls, if you want to get some guys attention, you have to go beyond cleavage. We appreciate cleavage. There's nothing wrong it. But you have to stretch the limits a little bit. You have to go for side boob.
From side boob to just a plain boob...
Isn't that funny? We call an idiot or a dunse a boob, but boobs are so great so why do we call them that? What is the genesis of this practice? Whatever.
Yesterday I didn't write about Rumsfeld getting canned, scratch that, resigning, because I didn't really know much. Today I don't know anything more than I did yesterday. But here is my take:
Was his resignation overdue? Yes. Was the timing politically motivated? Duh.
But here is the kicker that people need to be aware of. There is no way that average American citizens can evaluate the job that the Secretary of Defense does. I'm not at all defending Rumsfeld. I've never liked him. But I am no where near educated enough in the appropriate matters to say he sucks at his job. He was a major proponent for a war I disagreed with from the start. He sucks a public speaking. And he just seems slimy. The thing that made it for me was hearing all of the Generals speaking out against him and the war and the way he was running the war. You don't see a lot of career military men speaking out aganist their own. That's convincing stuff. But there are so many issues on which average American citizens just cannot make informed decisions on. That's why we elect people smarter than we and hope they appoint the right people. Where we went wrong here is when we elected someone not smarter than we. Whoops.
Quick Story:
I had a buddy out on a date tonight. I sent him about a dozen very perverted text messages while he was at dinner with her. I wasn't trying to sabotage the date, just trying to make him laugh and put him in an uncomfortable situation. I succeeded. And his date went well. I swear to whatever god you believe in that I am 23 years old.
I was running through some old columns written by The Sports Guy (Bill Simmons, ESPN.com Page 2) and I came across this one, which I remember reading in Josh and Beth Peterson's bedroom before they were married when they lived with Adam in the basement of an apartment building in Minneapolis.
He was asked a question about having a test for a girlfriend or some shit.
Sports Guy: Hey, you already know where I stand. I think the world is separated into two kinds of people -- people who loved "Field of Dreams," and people who don't have a heart. If I were dating a woman and she said she didn't like "Field of Dreams," I'd immediately dump her. I'm not kidding, either. It says a lot about a person where they stand on "Field of Dreams."
To answer your other question, when I was single, I never really had one big test for prospective girlfriends. It was more like a series of smaller tests: If they liked "Field of Dreams," "Halloween" and "Hoosiers;" if they got along with dogs; if they laughed at the "Jackie Rogers Jr.'s $100,000 Jackpot Wad" sketch on "SNL"; if they felt comfortable wearing the Bird jersey to bed; if they didn't mind the fact that I watched 12 straight hours of football every Sunday; if they put up a token fight to pay on one of the first few dates; if they liked going to Celtics games; and so on. I was pretty picky. Now I'm married, and I might as well be dead.I am happy to say that Cassie passed the FOD Test with colors that flew. How can you not appreciate the sentiment in that movie? You heartless fuck.
And then, further down in the column, there is this bit about The OC.
Q: Do you think "The OC" has "Beverly Hills: 90210" potential? -- Joe Dyton, Trenton, N.J.
SG: Potentially. The pilot was tremendous -- I haven't enjoyed bad TV that much since the heyday of "Melrose Place." They incorporated elements of "90210," "The Karate Kid" and just about every '80s movie ever made (evil boyfriends, hot chicks falling for soft-spoken outcasts, the whole shebang). It's extremely well-done (the first two episodes were directed by Doug Liman, who also did "Swingers" and "Go"). The acting was just good enough that it didn't detract from the show. Everyone looked good, which is always important. There were just enough holes in the plot that it made you think, "Hey, wait a second ..." And the music was perfect.
That was a gift from me to you OC fans out there. I'm done with that show.
Tomorrow I'm headed for Madison for a weekend with the crew from the 213.
Be in touch.
Until The Next.
Comments:
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Nice job. I like the meat loaf comments. I agree with them.
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# posted by 
: 10:11 PM, November 12, 2006
: 10:11 PM, November 12, 2006<< Home
