Field of Deets

I hate most of the "human interest" news stories that dominate the cable news channels. By special interest I am referring to the likes of the Scott Peterson trial, the missing girl in Aruba, anything that Nancy Grace would cover.

Speaking of Nancy Grace, what a wretched bitch. She's a horrible person and hosts a horrible show. And she's just obnoxious.

And Paula Zahn sounds like a woman trying to speak with a man's voice. What's really under her skirt/pant suit?

But this story about the Kim family in Oregon, the family who got lost, stuck, stranded driving home after Thanksgiving has drawn my interest. It's an absolutely heartbreaking story. A father leaves his family after nine days in a car with them to try to find help only to die less than a mile from some fishing lodge. Terrible. I can hardly read that stuff because it is so, so sad. If you are human at all you have to feel a huge amount sympathy for their plight. They made mistakes in navigation and in road choice, but who hasn't done that before? I am a regular committer of those errors. And you have to applaud the father's efforts; I think most would do the same in his position. Many would probably leave sooner than he did - it must have taken unreal patience to sit in that car just waiting and hoping.

But, the point of this post is to discuss the word "Hero." The father, Mr. Kim, has been called a hero by every news outlet and hundreds of people. I think that his actions were heroic, his effort was heroic and so were his intentions. But you cannot call him a hero. Heroes succeed. A Hero is someone who defies unthinkable odds and comes away a success. He made an heroic effort, but he's not a hero.

It's a harsh argument that is going to seem heartless to many. I don't even really like making it myself, but I have to.

So if he didn't succeed and he's not a hero, do you have to call him a failure? No, you don't have to do that. He was found on Wednesday and his family was rescued two days earlier. Would he be alive had he stayed with his family? Yes. Do you blame him for trying to get help? Of course you don't.

America is a country constantly starving for heroes. Every success story in this country needs a hero - at least as far as the media and general public are concerned.

After 9/11 every fireman and police officer in America became overnight heroes. Were they not heroes before? They weren't acknowledged nearly as much prior to the attacks. So what made them suddenly the greatest heroes of the decade? America's need to identify with a hero.

Are firemen and police officers heroes? I'm certain some have been at some point in their careers. Are they all heroes? No. The guy who has directed traffic for 20 years or given out parking tickets for longer than he'd care to remember is not a hero. He's just a man doing his job.

Were the firemen and police officers who were present at ground zero on 9/11 heroes? It's hard to say they weren't. It's hard to say they were just doing their job. But they were. They were doing exactly what they signed up to do. Does that mean you cannot call them heroes? No, you definitely can. Many of them were heroes on that day.

But every firefighter and police officer in America did not become a hero on a 9/11. Come on, that's a load of bullshit if ever there was one. They provide a great community service. They do the job that they signed up to do.

Did you send your firefighters cookies or shake their hands and say thank you in the 1990's? Well, why not? Aren't they heroes?

Are athletes heroes? Is David Ortiz a hero everytime he hits late-game home run to give his team the lead? Nope. His actions are heroic, but he is not a hero.

We need to learn to save the word Hero for cases in which it is actually appropriate and necessary. The word hero should one of those for which there is no synonym. You use hero when you haven't yet given enough praise and you've run out of other words. Hero is the top of the line and we've brought it all the way down to mean a guy who directs traffic.

Americans do this with the superlative all the time. The Greatest... The Biggest... The Most Amazing...

Save these words and phrases for when they are actually appropriate. You can't call a movie that gets a 7/10 and a movie that gets a 10/10 both Amazing. You just can't, they are 30% different. If the 7's amazing, you better find a pretty great word for the 10, but don't go too high because you might see a better movie one day that you need another word for.

You can still appreciate the jobs that cops and firefighters do just as much as you did before without calling them a hero. You can still love the movie that was a pretty average 7 out of 10 without calling it sooooo good or AMAZING! but you can use different words to describe them.
You might call a cop courageous for signing up to do that job knowing what situations he may find himself in. You don't need to jump right to hero.

Save "hero" for the guy who pulls you out of a burning car that could explode at any second.

That's a hero.

Diction is important, people. Choose the word that best describes the situation so that people can draw the most accurate meaning from what you are saying.

Don't tell me the food was amazing when it was just alright. Because I'm going to be bummed out when it is a 5 out of 10 and you told me it was an 8 out of 10 by saying it was amazing.

Those last two weeks slipped by quickly. I will post on a more regular basis from here on out - and that's about as close to a promise as you'll find.

In case you come across a troubling time in the near future, just remember what Jessica Simpson said:

I don't need somebody to complete
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

If those aren't the worst lyrics ever written, they're pretty fucking close.

Until The Next.