Friday, December 08, 2006
Heroes
I hate most of the "human interest" news stories that dominate the cable news channels. By special interest I am referring to the likes of the Scott Peterson trial, the missing girl in Aruba, anything that Nancy Grace would cover.
Speaking of Nancy Grace, what a wretched bitch. She's a horrible person and hosts a horrible show. And she's just obnoxious.
And Paula Zahn sounds like a woman trying to speak with a man's voice. What's really under her skirt/pant suit?
But this story about the Kim family in Oregon, the family who got lost, stuck, stranded driving home after Thanksgiving has drawn my interest. It's an absolutely heartbreaking story. A father leaves his family after nine days in a car with them to try to find help only to die less than a mile from some fishing lodge. Terrible. I can hardly read that stuff because it is so, so sad. If you are human at all you have to feel a huge amount sympathy for their plight. They made mistakes in navigation and in road choice, but who hasn't done that before? I am a regular committer of those errors. And you have to applaud the father's efforts; I think most would do the same in his position. Many would probably leave sooner than he did - it must have taken unreal patience to sit in that car just waiting and hoping.
But, the point of this post is to discuss the word "Hero." The father, Mr. Kim, has been called a hero by every news outlet and hundreds of people. I think that his actions were heroic, his effort was heroic and so were his intentions. But you cannot call him a hero. Heroes succeed. A Hero is someone who defies unthinkable odds and comes away a success. He made an heroic effort, but he's not a hero.
It's a harsh argument that is going to seem heartless to many. I don't even really like making it myself, but I have to.
So if he didn't succeed and he's not a hero, do you have to call him a failure? No, you don't have to do that. He was found on Wednesday and his family was rescued two days earlier. Would he be alive had he stayed with his family? Yes. Do you blame him for trying to get help? Of course you don't.
America is a country constantly starving for heroes. Every success story in this country needs a hero - at least as far as the media and general public are concerned.
After 9/11 every fireman and police officer in America became overnight heroes. Were they not heroes before? They weren't acknowledged nearly as much prior to the attacks. So what made them suddenly the greatest heroes of the decade? America's need to identify with a hero.
Are firemen and police officers heroes? I'm certain some have been at some point in their careers. Are they all heroes? No. The guy who has directed traffic for 20 years or given out parking tickets for longer than he'd care to remember is not a hero. He's just a man doing his job.
Were the firemen and police officers who were present at ground zero on 9/11 heroes? It's hard to say they weren't. It's hard to say they were just doing their job. But they were. They were doing exactly what they signed up to do. Does that mean you cannot call them heroes? No, you definitely can. Many of them were heroes on that day.
But every firefighter and police officer in America did not become a hero on a 9/11. Come on, that's a load of bullshit if ever there was one. They provide a great community service. They do the job that they signed up to do.
Did you send your firefighters cookies or shake their hands and say thank you in the 1990's? Well, why not? Aren't they heroes?
Are athletes heroes? Is David Ortiz a hero everytime he hits late-game home run to give his team the lead? Nope. His actions are heroic, but he is not a hero.
We need to learn to save the word Hero for cases in which it is actually appropriate and necessary. The word hero should one of those for which there is no synonym. You use hero when you haven't yet given enough praise and you've run out of other words. Hero is the top of the line and we've brought it all the way down to mean a guy who directs traffic.
Americans do this with the superlative all the time. The Greatest... The Biggest... The Most Amazing...
Save these words and phrases for when they are actually appropriate. You can't call a movie that gets a 7/10 and a movie that gets a 10/10 both Amazing. You just can't, they are 30% different. If the 7's amazing, you better find a pretty great word for the 10, but don't go too high because you might see a better movie one day that you need another word for.
You can still appreciate the jobs that cops and firefighters do just as much as you did before without calling them a hero. You can still love the movie that was a pretty average 7 out of 10 without calling it sooooo good or AMAZING! but you can use different words to describe them.
You might call a cop courageous for signing up to do that job knowing what situations he may find himself in. You don't need to jump right to hero.
Save "hero" for the guy who pulls you out of a burning car that could explode at any second.
That's a hero.
Diction is important, people. Choose the word that best describes the situation so that people can draw the most accurate meaning from what you are saying.
Don't tell me the food was amazing when it was just alright. Because I'm going to be bummed out when it is a 5 out of 10 and you told me it was an 8 out of 10 by saying it was amazing.
Those last two weeks slipped by quickly. I will post on a more regular basis from here on out - and that's about as close to a promise as you'll find.
In case you come across a troubling time in the near future, just remember what Jessica Simpson said:
I don't need somebody to complete
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else
I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
If those aren't the worst lyrics ever written, they're pretty fucking close.
Until The Next.
Speaking of Nancy Grace, what a wretched bitch. She's a horrible person and hosts a horrible show. And she's just obnoxious.
And Paula Zahn sounds like a woman trying to speak with a man's voice. What's really under her skirt/pant suit?
But this story about the Kim family in Oregon, the family who got lost, stuck, stranded driving home after Thanksgiving has drawn my interest. It's an absolutely heartbreaking story. A father leaves his family after nine days in a car with them to try to find help only to die less than a mile from some fishing lodge. Terrible. I can hardly read that stuff because it is so, so sad. If you are human at all you have to feel a huge amount sympathy for their plight. They made mistakes in navigation and in road choice, but who hasn't done that before? I am a regular committer of those errors. And you have to applaud the father's efforts; I think most would do the same in his position. Many would probably leave sooner than he did - it must have taken unreal patience to sit in that car just waiting and hoping.
But, the point of this post is to discuss the word "Hero." The father, Mr. Kim, has been called a hero by every news outlet and hundreds of people. I think that his actions were heroic, his effort was heroic and so were his intentions. But you cannot call him a hero. Heroes succeed. A Hero is someone who defies unthinkable odds and comes away a success. He made an heroic effort, but he's not a hero.
It's a harsh argument that is going to seem heartless to many. I don't even really like making it myself, but I have to.
So if he didn't succeed and he's not a hero, do you have to call him a failure? No, you don't have to do that. He was found on Wednesday and his family was rescued two days earlier. Would he be alive had he stayed with his family? Yes. Do you blame him for trying to get help? Of course you don't.
America is a country constantly starving for heroes. Every success story in this country needs a hero - at least as far as the media and general public are concerned.
After 9/11 every fireman and police officer in America became overnight heroes. Were they not heroes before? They weren't acknowledged nearly as much prior to the attacks. So what made them suddenly the greatest heroes of the decade? America's need to identify with a hero.
Are firemen and police officers heroes? I'm certain some have been at some point in their careers. Are they all heroes? No. The guy who has directed traffic for 20 years or given out parking tickets for longer than he'd care to remember is not a hero. He's just a man doing his job.
Were the firemen and police officers who were present at ground zero on 9/11 heroes? It's hard to say they weren't. It's hard to say they were just doing their job. But they were. They were doing exactly what they signed up to do. Does that mean you cannot call them heroes? No, you definitely can. Many of them were heroes on that day.
But every firefighter and police officer in America did not become a hero on a 9/11. Come on, that's a load of bullshit if ever there was one. They provide a great community service. They do the job that they signed up to do.
Did you send your firefighters cookies or shake their hands and say thank you in the 1990's? Well, why not? Aren't they heroes?
Are athletes heroes? Is David Ortiz a hero everytime he hits late-game home run to give his team the lead? Nope. His actions are heroic, but he is not a hero.
We need to learn to save the word Hero for cases in which it is actually appropriate and necessary. The word hero should one of those for which there is no synonym. You use hero when you haven't yet given enough praise and you've run out of other words. Hero is the top of the line and we've brought it all the way down to mean a guy who directs traffic.
Americans do this with the superlative all the time. The Greatest... The Biggest... The Most Amazing...
Save these words and phrases for when they are actually appropriate. You can't call a movie that gets a 7/10 and a movie that gets a 10/10 both Amazing. You just can't, they are 30% different. If the 7's amazing, you better find a pretty great word for the 10, but don't go too high because you might see a better movie one day that you need another word for.
You can still appreciate the jobs that cops and firefighters do just as much as you did before without calling them a hero. You can still love the movie that was a pretty average 7 out of 10 without calling it sooooo good or AMAZING! but you can use different words to describe them.
You might call a cop courageous for signing up to do that job knowing what situations he may find himself in. You don't need to jump right to hero.
Save "hero" for the guy who pulls you out of a burning car that could explode at any second.
That's a hero.
Diction is important, people. Choose the word that best describes the situation so that people can draw the most accurate meaning from what you are saying.
Don't tell me the food was amazing when it was just alright. Because I'm going to be bummed out when it is a 5 out of 10 and you told me it was an 8 out of 10 by saying it was amazing.
Those last two weeks slipped by quickly. I will post on a more regular basis from here on out - and that's about as close to a promise as you'll find.
In case you come across a troubling time in the near future, just remember what Jessica Simpson said:
I don't need somebody to complete
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else
I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
If those aren't the worst lyrics ever written, they're pretty fucking close.
Until The Next.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Deets Brought to you by Folgers
Marion Raven and I are over. She just wasn't making herself as available to me as I need her to be. Our relationship was becoming monotonous and routine. All I saw of her was the same thing over and over and over. I will always hold a special place in my heart for her, but for now I am going to have to move on to a celebrity who has more to offer me. I have needs, too!
Speaking of needs, some people have simpler ones than others, and those are the people we ignore the most.
When I took a semester off school I managed a pizza place. I met some very interesting people at that place. My employees and the regular customers of this store had all sorts of heartbreaking life stories. There were high school girls whose boyfriends beat them up at prom, then stole their money to buy coke. There were meth heads who abandoned their families and were overjoyed with a fifty cent raise. There were parents buying their 14 and 15 year olds kids cigs and booze. There were stories of drop outs, meth, pregnancies, evictions, addictions, and beatings, and I heard something like that everyday I worked there. If it didn't come from an employee, it came from a customer who just came in to get a bite to eat and perhaps to find someone to lend him or her an ear for a minute.
It's amazing how just listening to someone for a few minutes can brighten their day. Listening is a great temporary cure for lonliness and escape from despair. People who have been beaten down by life sometimes just need an open ear for five minutes. All they are looking for is that look in the listeners eye that says, "Yes, I am listening to you." It's the easiest thing in the world to give. And it might keep that person going all day. I can't tell you how often I just stood and listened to a customer talk to me like they had known me for a decade.
This blog post was literally made possible and brought to you by Folgers Coffee Singles. Right now, Folgers is my fuel. I am trying to finish up this paper and I've been up all night. But I haven't pulled a good all nighter in a while and I actually enjoy them. I have two presentations to give today as well. This will be an interesting Tuesday. I should have a documentary crew to follow me around for this shit as a PSA to all incoming freshman: "Do not do as this guy does. It isn't healthy." But it's sometimes how I do my best work.
The night has actually gone quite quickly and morning will be here soon. The key to my day will be keeping the coffee intake steady. An IV would probably work best, but I think I'm stuck with the traditional way of injesting caffeine.
In 12 hours I can just put my feet up and sleep. Or get drunk. I will be out on Water St. in about 17 hours. I hope to see you there. I'm making Cassie sing kareokee this week. Help me make her. If you know Cassie and haven't heard her sing, you really should. She's great. But she does a good job of keeping that a secret from the rest of the world.
Listen to somebody today. Don't be thinking about what you're going to say next or a story that you can tell them about something similar. Bite your lip, ignore your desire to hear your own voice. Just listen.
My number one pet peeve probably in all the world: someone responding to something you've told them with a story about themselves. If the subject of my mom's death comes up in conversation and I say something about it and someone says something to me about when their dog died when they were nine it makes me want to just get up in the middle of their story and walk away. The level of respect that would show them is about the same as they showed me. This happens all the time. And it's all because people don't listen, they are too busy thinking about how this conversation applies to their own life and how they can bring their own stories into the conversation to turn the focus on themselves.
When I meet new people my favorite thing to do is listen to them talk (unless I'm drunk). You can learn so much about a person just by letting them talk. Ask them a few questions and let them roll. People might think you're shy, but really you're just listening. There is a difference.
Listening is an underappreciated, underused, underdeveloped, and underacquired skill. Talking is the opposite.
Folgers will keep you awake, but it will not keep you focused.
Until The Next
Speaking of needs, some people have simpler ones than others, and those are the people we ignore the most.
When I took a semester off school I managed a pizza place. I met some very interesting people at that place. My employees and the regular customers of this store had all sorts of heartbreaking life stories. There were high school girls whose boyfriends beat them up at prom, then stole their money to buy coke. There were meth heads who abandoned their families and were overjoyed with a fifty cent raise. There were parents buying their 14 and 15 year olds kids cigs and booze. There were stories of drop outs, meth, pregnancies, evictions, addictions, and beatings, and I heard something like that everyday I worked there. If it didn't come from an employee, it came from a customer who just came in to get a bite to eat and perhaps to find someone to lend him or her an ear for a minute.
It's amazing how just listening to someone for a few minutes can brighten their day. Listening is a great temporary cure for lonliness and escape from despair. People who have been beaten down by life sometimes just need an open ear for five minutes. All they are looking for is that look in the listeners eye that says, "Yes, I am listening to you." It's the easiest thing in the world to give. And it might keep that person going all day. I can't tell you how often I just stood and listened to a customer talk to me like they had known me for a decade.
This blog post was literally made possible and brought to you by Folgers Coffee Singles. Right now, Folgers is my fuel. I am trying to finish up this paper and I've been up all night. But I haven't pulled a good all nighter in a while and I actually enjoy them. I have two presentations to give today as well. This will be an interesting Tuesday. I should have a documentary crew to follow me around for this shit as a PSA to all incoming freshman: "Do not do as this guy does. It isn't healthy." But it's sometimes how I do my best work.
The night has actually gone quite quickly and morning will be here soon. The key to my day will be keeping the coffee intake steady. An IV would probably work best, but I think I'm stuck with the traditional way of injesting caffeine.
In 12 hours I can just put my feet up and sleep. Or get drunk. I will be out on Water St. in about 17 hours. I hope to see you there. I'm making Cassie sing kareokee this week. Help me make her. If you know Cassie and haven't heard her sing, you really should. She's great. But she does a good job of keeping that a secret from the rest of the world.
Listen to somebody today. Don't be thinking about what you're going to say next or a story that you can tell them about something similar. Bite your lip, ignore your desire to hear your own voice. Just listen.
My number one pet peeve probably in all the world: someone responding to something you've told them with a story about themselves. If the subject of my mom's death comes up in conversation and I say something about it and someone says something to me about when their dog died when they were nine it makes me want to just get up in the middle of their story and walk away. The level of respect that would show them is about the same as they showed me. This happens all the time. And it's all because people don't listen, they are too busy thinking about how this conversation applies to their own life and how they can bring their own stories into the conversation to turn the focus on themselves.
When I meet new people my favorite thing to do is listen to them talk (unless I'm drunk). You can learn so much about a person just by letting them talk. Ask them a few questions and let them roll. People might think you're shy, but really you're just listening. There is a difference.
Listening is an underappreciated, underused, underdeveloped, and underacquired skill. Talking is the opposite.
Folgers will keep you awake, but it will not keep you focused.
Until The Next
Monday, November 20, 2006
Crazy Christians
It's time to end the first prolonged absence of the return of my blog. Nine days off after two days on... pathetic, I know.
I chose to start at the wrong time. I needed to build up some consistency earlier on so I could have taken an excused break during the mid-term run. Now you are all probably thinking, "Thanks, Brent, you're an idiot." Yep. Sorry.
Much to cover.
First, OJ Simpson and the special that almost was. The layers of this mess are infinite. The way I understand this is that is was to be a confession that wasn't a confession. It's taken me almost a dozen years, but I finally think he's guilty. This incident pushed me over the top. Who does a special on murders for which he was found not guilty titled "If I did it, this is how..." Ridiculous.
I was in fourth grade when the OJ trial took over the country for a year. I wanted him to be innocent because I was a sports fanatatic kid who idolized great athletes. And since I've claimed that that they had to have found him innocent for some reason because I really don't know the details of the case. Then there is the glove thing.
I know 90% of America thinks he did it, but I have never been too fond of public opinion. Ninety percent of Americans are stupid lemmings - and more than half of those live in states that were painted red in 2002. But this special that almost was might have topped the list of the most tasteless things I've ever seen on TV. This list includes: Fat people losing weight on a reality TV show, Jerry Springer, Nancy Grace, Temptation Island, The Real World, All of MTV actually, and CBS' election coverage in 2002. It's also interesting that his was to be on the FOX network. It was FOX's opportunity to strike down the black man in defense of white people everywhere! Okay, that's a stretch, but you get my drift... I think.
The saddest part of the OJ trial? In my fourth grade math class the teacher stopped the class and turned on the trial so we could see/hear the verdict live.
Each generation has a handful of events that happen where every person remembers exactly where they were when it happened.
So far, those events for me include 9/11 (I was skipping morning classes my senior year of high school, woke up at 9:30 or 10 and my dad said, "Do you know what's happening in New York?") The OJ Trial Verdict (4th grade math class - we actually had a debate about it. My teacher maybe was an idiot), Our invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan (Spring Break 2003, PCB, FL. We have two TV's in the hotel room, one tuned to NCAA Tournament hoops games and one to CNN). I'm guessing the majority of people in my age bracket remember where they were during these times.
Thanksgiving is this week. It's great because we get a few days off to visit family, eat a traditionally excellent meal, and celebrate the white man's slaughtering of thousands and thousands of Native Americans and the start of the imperialism whose influence is still reigning in Washington and being felt in Iraq.
Our Founding Fathers truly were visionaries and did a tremendous thing. But I think they also needed a speech on "Practice what your preach" and a dose of humility and some anti-hypocrisy meds.
I think the most important American to the philosophy of this country today is Thomas Jefferson. And he nailed his slave and knocked her up - although they did have a long-standing, loving relationship, he was not just a horny ass white dude hitting up the slave cabin after coming home from a night at the taverns slugging pints with the other guys wearing wigs.
One of my professors made an interesting comment last week. She said that this country was better at talking about sex and sexuality 100 years ago. She is probably right.
Sex and all the issues that come with it have become so taboo as the religious right tries to bail out a ship that is already almost touching the bottom of the sea. Anytime a politician or public figure makes a comment about the realities of sex in this country they just get pounded by the religious right. It's ridiculous. The biggest special interest groups in America (I think) have to be pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, and religious organizations. Separation of church and state was one of the finest ideas ever put into writing (thank you, Mr. Jefferson) and from day one it has been trampled on. The constitution guarantees us the freedom of religion, which implies that we are also guaranteed to be free FROM religion, yet they (Washington) keeps shoving it in our faces. Fucking pisses me off. Anybody representing any religious group or "values" group, while working, should be banned from all government buildings. This is not an anti-religion position, it is a pro-constitution position. We need to get their influence out of our politics. It is in everybody's interest - including the religious groups.
Anyone who thinks "Abstinence Only" is an effective model for sex education is an idiot. If that includes you and you are offended, come see me, we'll argue and I will win and then feel better about myself for the rest of the day while you re-evaluate your position, and really, your entire life. Why even try to teach kids not to have sex? Take all aspects of religion, values, and opinion out of it and look at it as an Army General would look at the enemy. Proponents for Abstinence Only sex ed are fighting TV, pop music, pop culture, magazines, and the internet -- all are bombarded with messages about sex everyday. If someone were looking at this battle they would see that they could not possibly win and they would retreat right away in order to save lives. Well, you can save lives by teaching safe sex. If you don't want to see abortions, then teach kids to use a rubber. Kids are going to have sex. They are going to do it a lot - and before they are married. It's reality. If the Catholic Church wasn't so unbelievably wealthy, this would not be an issue. Kids are screwing around at younger and younger ages. I think they should put a fishbowl of condoms in the nurse's office in Middle Schools. Seriously.
Today on cnn.com I saw two articles relating to a re-institution of the draft. I am going to declare right now that if I am ever drafted into military service that I will not flee to Canada, I will not hide out in some cabin in the woods, I will willingly go to jail in protest of the draft, the war, and our government. I'm about 6' 2", sign me up for a comfortable fitting jump suit. Dibs on top bunk.
My world of Fantasy Sports is out of control this week. I got my ass fucking handled this week in fantasy football and a team in our league won with a mere 67 points when a sure thing wasn't so sure Monday night. I am still in line to make the playoffs, which is encouraging. And there was an outrage in our Fantasy NBA league, which none of you will care about. I also sent out the first e-mail of our Fantasy Baseball 2007 league. I realize that the World Series is barely a month into the history books, but we have much planning to do.
It's 2:20 and I have much to do for tomorrow so I am going to leave it here. Have a good day.
Until The Next.
I chose to start at the wrong time. I needed to build up some consistency earlier on so I could have taken an excused break during the mid-term run. Now you are all probably thinking, "Thanks, Brent, you're an idiot." Yep. Sorry.
Much to cover.
First, OJ Simpson and the special that almost was. The layers of this mess are infinite. The way I understand this is that is was to be a confession that wasn't a confession. It's taken me almost a dozen years, but I finally think he's guilty. This incident pushed me over the top. Who does a special on murders for which he was found not guilty titled "If I did it, this is how..." Ridiculous.
I was in fourth grade when the OJ trial took over the country for a year. I wanted him to be innocent because I was a sports fanatatic kid who idolized great athletes. And since I've claimed that that they had to have found him innocent for some reason because I really don't know the details of the case. Then there is the glove thing.
I know 90% of America thinks he did it, but I have never been too fond of public opinion. Ninety percent of Americans are stupid lemmings - and more than half of those live in states that were painted red in 2002. But this special that almost was might have topped the list of the most tasteless things I've ever seen on TV. This list includes: Fat people losing weight on a reality TV show, Jerry Springer, Nancy Grace, Temptation Island, The Real World, All of MTV actually, and CBS' election coverage in 2002. It's also interesting that his was to be on the FOX network. It was FOX's opportunity to strike down the black man in defense of white people everywhere! Okay, that's a stretch, but you get my drift... I think.
The saddest part of the OJ trial? In my fourth grade math class the teacher stopped the class and turned on the trial so we could see/hear the verdict live.
Each generation has a handful of events that happen where every person remembers exactly where they were when it happened.
So far, those events for me include 9/11 (I was skipping morning classes my senior year of high school, woke up at 9:30 or 10 and my dad said, "Do you know what's happening in New York?") The OJ Trial Verdict (4th grade math class - we actually had a debate about it. My teacher maybe was an idiot), Our invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan (Spring Break 2003, PCB, FL. We have two TV's in the hotel room, one tuned to NCAA Tournament hoops games and one to CNN). I'm guessing the majority of people in my age bracket remember where they were during these times.
Thanksgiving is this week. It's great because we get a few days off to visit family, eat a traditionally excellent meal, and celebrate the white man's slaughtering of thousands and thousands of Native Americans and the start of the imperialism whose influence is still reigning in Washington and being felt in Iraq.
Our Founding Fathers truly were visionaries and did a tremendous thing. But I think they also needed a speech on "Practice what your preach" and a dose of humility and some anti-hypocrisy meds.
I think the most important American to the philosophy of this country today is Thomas Jefferson. And he nailed his slave and knocked her up - although they did have a long-standing, loving relationship, he was not just a horny ass white dude hitting up the slave cabin after coming home from a night at the taverns slugging pints with the other guys wearing wigs.
One of my professors made an interesting comment last week. She said that this country was better at talking about sex and sexuality 100 years ago. She is probably right.
Sex and all the issues that come with it have become so taboo as the religious right tries to bail out a ship that is already almost touching the bottom of the sea. Anytime a politician or public figure makes a comment about the realities of sex in this country they just get pounded by the religious right. It's ridiculous. The biggest special interest groups in America (I think) have to be pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, and religious organizations. Separation of church and state was one of the finest ideas ever put into writing (thank you, Mr. Jefferson) and from day one it has been trampled on. The constitution guarantees us the freedom of religion, which implies that we are also guaranteed to be free FROM religion, yet they (Washington) keeps shoving it in our faces. Fucking pisses me off. Anybody representing any religious group or "values" group, while working, should be banned from all government buildings. This is not an anti-religion position, it is a pro-constitution position. We need to get their influence out of our politics. It is in everybody's interest - including the religious groups.
Anyone who thinks "Abstinence Only" is an effective model for sex education is an idiot. If that includes you and you are offended, come see me, we'll argue and I will win and then feel better about myself for the rest of the day while you re-evaluate your position, and really, your entire life. Why even try to teach kids not to have sex? Take all aspects of religion, values, and opinion out of it and look at it as an Army General would look at the enemy. Proponents for Abstinence Only sex ed are fighting TV, pop music, pop culture, magazines, and the internet -- all are bombarded with messages about sex everyday. If someone were looking at this battle they would see that they could not possibly win and they would retreat right away in order to save lives. Well, you can save lives by teaching safe sex. If you don't want to see abortions, then teach kids to use a rubber. Kids are going to have sex. They are going to do it a lot - and before they are married. It's reality. If the Catholic Church wasn't so unbelievably wealthy, this would not be an issue. Kids are screwing around at younger and younger ages. I think they should put a fishbowl of condoms in the nurse's office in Middle Schools. Seriously.
Today on cnn.com I saw two articles relating to a re-institution of the draft. I am going to declare right now that if I am ever drafted into military service that I will not flee to Canada, I will not hide out in some cabin in the woods, I will willingly go to jail in protest of the draft, the war, and our government. I'm about 6' 2", sign me up for a comfortable fitting jump suit. Dibs on top bunk.
My world of Fantasy Sports is out of control this week. I got my ass fucking handled this week in fantasy football and a team in our league won with a mere 67 points when a sure thing wasn't so sure Monday night. I am still in line to make the playoffs, which is encouraging. And there was an outrage in our Fantasy NBA league, which none of you will care about. I also sent out the first e-mail of our Fantasy Baseball 2007 league. I realize that the World Series is barely a month into the history books, but we have much planning to do.
It's 2:20 and I have much to do for tomorrow so I am going to leave it here. Have a good day.
Until The Next.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Side Boob
Yes, Ms. Bula, I did rip off the title from the Sister Act sequel. I suck.
What a great Rutgers-Louisville game tonight. An offsides penalty on the D to give the kicker a second chance at a FG he missed to win it with 27 seconds left in the game? That's drama... and it wasn't even on TNT. Bum Bum (that was the Law & Order sound).
What in the hell are the voters going to do with Rutgers now? They are an undefeated team in the Big East. And how do they possibly rank all the one-loss teams from big conferences: Texas, Cal, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Notre Dame (I know, they don't belong to a conference), Louisville, USC, Florida, Auburn, Arkansas - and Boise State is undefeated. There are those 12 teams plus Ohio State and Michigan. Who is going to get the BCS Bowl bids? Some teams better start getting ready to get screwed with their pants on. If Ohio State loses to Michigan and Wisconsin wins out, then Ohio State and Wisconsin will both have one loss and that only loss being to the same team: Michigan. Can they screw Wisconsin out of a BCS bowl? If Wisconsin doesn't get one, is it a screw job? There has to be a better way to do this... What do they do in other sports... I wish someone would come up with an idea... How about PLAYOFFS?!? Yeah, Jim Mora. Playoffs?!? FORM A PLAYOFF SYSTEM! Right now you have 14 teams who could lay claim to a BCS bowl bid. Why not stick them in a bracket and have a tournament?
On to the Sunday league...
Most annoying trend of the 2006 NFL Season: Coaches listing every player who matters on their injury report as "Questionable." This madness needs to end. It is seriously fucking with my fantasy football team and the teams of millions of owners all over the country. By now opposing coaches have to have decided just ignore it and prepare for the team as if they are full strength.
The Office was hilarious tonight. That is one show that has never had a bad episode. Not too many shows can claim that. If you're not watching it, you really are missing out. And if you don't like it then I'm not sure we can ever have a conversation.
New musical artist to look out for: Marion Raven. She's a 22 year old babe from Norway who has a phenomenal voice. There aren't a lot of chicks out there who can sing rock and roll well, as Cassie pointed out to me, and Marion Raven has a good rock voice. And a killer body.
Some of you may remember her as one half of M2M. Well, she grew up. She's got a single called "Heads Will Roll" that she co-wrote with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. How did she get teamed up with Nikki Sixx? I thought you might be wondering.
And this is where I have to reveal my biggest guilty pleasure as a music fan when talking to people about Marion Raven.
I love Meat Loaf. The guy is great. Great voice, great videos (mini-movies, really), huge concepts. You have to like Meat Loaf. You just do.
Anyway, Marion Raven and Meat Loaf teamed up to cover Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." Except that song was originally written in 1986 for Meat Loaf's second Bat Out of Hell album. It didn't make it on and the crazy Canadian bitch with the huge head recorded it. Meat Loaf thought it should be a duet so he put it on his third Bat Out of Hell album and recorded it with Marion Raven.
Back to Nikki Sixx. He wrote some material for Meat's Bat Out of Hell III (released a week and a half ago or so. No, I don't own it) and I'm guessing that's how he and Marion Raven came together. Or he brought her into the Meat Loaf project. Either way, there is overlap.
Wow, I've written far too much about this. When I saw her and heard her I became seriously obsessed in a very brief amount of time. The obsession has since dwindled. You should all check her out and watch the videos on her website. You get some great side boob shots.
Side Boob is different than cleavage. With cleavage you see the top, inside part of the boob. But with side boob, you see the whole side of the boob. It is not just boobs pushed up and in, but it revealing the entire side of the boob. I prefer outside side boob to inside side boob just because outside side boob is less common, but you never complain when you see side boob. Marion Raven shows some great inside side boob in her video for "Heads Will Roll." Girls, if you want to get some guys attention, you have to go beyond cleavage. We appreciate cleavage. There's nothing wrong it. But you have to stretch the limits a little bit. You have to go for side boob.
From side boob to just a plain boob...
Isn't that funny? We call an idiot or a dunse a boob, but boobs are so great so why do we call them that? What is the genesis of this practice? Whatever.
Yesterday I didn't write about Rumsfeld getting canned, scratch that, resigning, because I didn't really know much. Today I don't know anything more than I did yesterday. But here is my take:
Was his resignation overdue? Yes. Was the timing politically motivated? Duh.
But here is the kicker that people need to be aware of. There is no way that average American citizens can evaluate the job that the Secretary of Defense does. I'm not at all defending Rumsfeld. I've never liked him. But I am no where near educated enough in the appropriate matters to say he sucks at his job. He was a major proponent for a war I disagreed with from the start. He sucks a public speaking. And he just seems slimy. The thing that made it for me was hearing all of the Generals speaking out against him and the war and the way he was running the war. You don't see a lot of career military men speaking out aganist their own. That's convincing stuff. But there are so many issues on which average American citizens just cannot make informed decisions on. That's why we elect people smarter than we and hope they appoint the right people. Where we went wrong here is when we elected someone not smarter than we. Whoops.
Quick Story:
I had a buddy out on a date tonight. I sent him about a dozen very perverted text messages while he was at dinner with her. I wasn't trying to sabotage the date, just trying to make him laugh and put him in an uncomfortable situation. I succeeded. And his date went well. I swear to whatever god you believe in that I am 23 years old.
I was running through some old columns written by The Sports Guy (Bill Simmons, ESPN.com Page 2) and I came across this one, which I remember reading in Josh and Beth Peterson's bedroom before they were married when they lived with Adam in the basement of an apartment building in Minneapolis.
He was asked a question about having a test for a girlfriend or some shit.
I am happy to say that Cassie passed the FOD Test with colors that flew. How can you not appreciate the sentiment in that movie? You heartless fuck.
And then, further down in the column, there is this bit about The OC.
Q: Do you think "The OC" has "Beverly Hills: 90210" potential? -- Joe Dyton, Trenton, N.J.
SG: Potentially. The pilot was tremendous -- I haven't enjoyed bad TV that much since the heyday of "Melrose Place." They incorporated elements of "90210," "The Karate Kid" and just about every '80s movie ever made (evil boyfriends, hot chicks falling for soft-spoken outcasts, the whole shebang). It's extremely well-done (the first two episodes were directed by Doug Liman, who also did "Swingers" and "Go"). The acting was just good enough that it didn't detract from the show. Everyone looked good, which is always important. There were just enough holes in the plot that it made you think, "Hey, wait a second ..." And the music was perfect. Of course. I see a few problems here. First of all, the pilot was considerably better than the second show. That scares me. Second, the lead actor (Benjamin McKenzie) is a little too old to be playing a 16-year-old outcast. He's fine now, but in two years, he could go Ziering on us. Third, in the second episode, one of the characters fondly remembers watching the Pistons-Lakers Finals in "'86." Just an egregious mistake. Makes me wonder if the writers are paying attention. But here's the big thing: None of the "OC" actors -- with the possible exception of the Aryan boyfriend -- are bad enough to rate on the Unintentional Comedy Scale, an integral part of 90210's success. Remember David Silver singing and dancing, Tori Spelling's cleavage (which looked like a a thumbprint in a pound of ground beef), Noah Hunter rattling out his lines like his mouth was on fire, or every scene with Ian Ziering? Remember Dr. Michael Mancini on "Melrose," or the immortal Andrew Shue? I'm not sure "The OC" has these things, which brings it closer to "Dawson's Creek" than anything. And that was the problem with "Dawson" -- it always took itself too seriously. That's why I didn't like that show. Josh Jackson stumbling through his lines can only go so far. Anyway, my jury's still out on "The OC." After two weeks, I can only give it a 15 out of 10. We'll see if that changes. And if you don't like it ... well, "Welcome to the SG, bitch."
That was a gift from me to you OC fans out there. I'm done with that show.
Tomorrow I'm headed for Madison for a weekend with the crew from the 213.
Be in touch.
Until The Next.
What a great Rutgers-Louisville game tonight. An offsides penalty on the D to give the kicker a second chance at a FG he missed to win it with 27 seconds left in the game? That's drama... and it wasn't even on TNT. Bum Bum (that was the Law & Order sound).
What in the hell are the voters going to do with Rutgers now? They are an undefeated team in the Big East. And how do they possibly rank all the one-loss teams from big conferences: Texas, Cal, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Notre Dame (I know, they don't belong to a conference), Louisville, USC, Florida, Auburn, Arkansas - and Boise State is undefeated. There are those 12 teams plus Ohio State and Michigan. Who is going to get the BCS Bowl bids? Some teams better start getting ready to get screwed with their pants on. If Ohio State loses to Michigan and Wisconsin wins out, then Ohio State and Wisconsin will both have one loss and that only loss being to the same team: Michigan. Can they screw Wisconsin out of a BCS bowl? If Wisconsin doesn't get one, is it a screw job? There has to be a better way to do this... What do they do in other sports... I wish someone would come up with an idea... How about PLAYOFFS?!? Yeah, Jim Mora. Playoffs?!? FORM A PLAYOFF SYSTEM! Right now you have 14 teams who could lay claim to a BCS bowl bid. Why not stick them in a bracket and have a tournament?
On to the Sunday league...
Most annoying trend of the 2006 NFL Season: Coaches listing every player who matters on their injury report as "Questionable." This madness needs to end. It is seriously fucking with my fantasy football team and the teams of millions of owners all over the country. By now opposing coaches have to have decided just ignore it and prepare for the team as if they are full strength.
The Office was hilarious tonight. That is one show that has never had a bad episode. Not too many shows can claim that. If you're not watching it, you really are missing out. And if you don't like it then I'm not sure we can ever have a conversation.
New musical artist to look out for: Marion Raven. She's a 22 year old babe from Norway who has a phenomenal voice. There aren't a lot of chicks out there who can sing rock and roll well, as Cassie pointed out to me, and Marion Raven has a good rock voice. And a killer body.
Some of you may remember her as one half of M2M. Well, she grew up. She's got a single called "Heads Will Roll" that she co-wrote with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. How did she get teamed up with Nikki Sixx? I thought you might be wondering.
And this is where I have to reveal my biggest guilty pleasure as a music fan when talking to people about Marion Raven.
I love Meat Loaf. The guy is great. Great voice, great videos (mini-movies, really), huge concepts. You have to like Meat Loaf. You just do.
Anyway, Marion Raven and Meat Loaf teamed up to cover Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." Except that song was originally written in 1986 for Meat Loaf's second Bat Out of Hell album. It didn't make it on and the crazy Canadian bitch with the huge head recorded it. Meat Loaf thought it should be a duet so he put it on his third Bat Out of Hell album and recorded it with Marion Raven.
Back to Nikki Sixx. He wrote some material for Meat's Bat Out of Hell III (released a week and a half ago or so. No, I don't own it) and I'm guessing that's how he and Marion Raven came together. Or he brought her into the Meat Loaf project. Either way, there is overlap.
Wow, I've written far too much about this. When I saw her and heard her I became seriously obsessed in a very brief amount of time. The obsession has since dwindled. You should all check her out and watch the videos on her website. You get some great side boob shots.
Side Boob is different than cleavage. With cleavage you see the top, inside part of the boob. But with side boob, you see the whole side of the boob. It is not just boobs pushed up and in, but it revealing the entire side of the boob. I prefer outside side boob to inside side boob just because outside side boob is less common, but you never complain when you see side boob. Marion Raven shows some great inside side boob in her video for "Heads Will Roll." Girls, if you want to get some guys attention, you have to go beyond cleavage. We appreciate cleavage. There's nothing wrong it. But you have to stretch the limits a little bit. You have to go for side boob.
From side boob to just a plain boob...
Isn't that funny? We call an idiot or a dunse a boob, but boobs are so great so why do we call them that? What is the genesis of this practice? Whatever.
Yesterday I didn't write about Rumsfeld getting canned, scratch that, resigning, because I didn't really know much. Today I don't know anything more than I did yesterday. But here is my take:
Was his resignation overdue? Yes. Was the timing politically motivated? Duh.
But here is the kicker that people need to be aware of. There is no way that average American citizens can evaluate the job that the Secretary of Defense does. I'm not at all defending Rumsfeld. I've never liked him. But I am no where near educated enough in the appropriate matters to say he sucks at his job. He was a major proponent for a war I disagreed with from the start. He sucks a public speaking. And he just seems slimy. The thing that made it for me was hearing all of the Generals speaking out against him and the war and the way he was running the war. You don't see a lot of career military men speaking out aganist their own. That's convincing stuff. But there are so many issues on which average American citizens just cannot make informed decisions on. That's why we elect people smarter than we and hope they appoint the right people. Where we went wrong here is when we elected someone not smarter than we. Whoops.
Quick Story:
I had a buddy out on a date tonight. I sent him about a dozen very perverted text messages while he was at dinner with her. I wasn't trying to sabotage the date, just trying to make him laugh and put him in an uncomfortable situation. I succeeded. And his date went well. I swear to whatever god you believe in that I am 23 years old.
I was running through some old columns written by The Sports Guy (Bill Simmons, ESPN.com Page 2) and I came across this one, which I remember reading in Josh and Beth Peterson's bedroom before they were married when they lived with Adam in the basement of an apartment building in Minneapolis.
He was asked a question about having a test for a girlfriend or some shit.
Sports Guy: Hey, you already know where I stand. I think the world is separated into two kinds of people -- people who loved "Field of Dreams," and people who don't have a heart. If I were dating a woman and she said she didn't like "Field of Dreams," I'd immediately dump her. I'm not kidding, either. It says a lot about a person where they stand on "Field of Dreams."
To answer your other question, when I was single, I never really had one big test for prospective girlfriends. It was more like a series of smaller tests: If they liked "Field of Dreams," "Halloween" and "Hoosiers;" if they got along with dogs; if they laughed at the "Jackie Rogers Jr.'s $100,000 Jackpot Wad" sketch on "SNL"; if they felt comfortable wearing the Bird jersey to bed; if they didn't mind the fact that I watched 12 straight hours of football every Sunday; if they put up a token fight to pay on one of the first few dates; if they liked going to Celtics games; and so on. I was pretty picky. Now I'm married, and I might as well be dead.I am happy to say that Cassie passed the FOD Test with colors that flew. How can you not appreciate the sentiment in that movie? You heartless fuck.
And then, further down in the column, there is this bit about The OC.
Q: Do you think "The OC" has "Beverly Hills: 90210" potential? -- Joe Dyton, Trenton, N.J.
SG: Potentially. The pilot was tremendous -- I haven't enjoyed bad TV that much since the heyday of "Melrose Place." They incorporated elements of "90210," "The Karate Kid" and just about every '80s movie ever made (evil boyfriends, hot chicks falling for soft-spoken outcasts, the whole shebang). It's extremely well-done (the first two episodes were directed by Doug Liman, who also did "Swingers" and "Go"). The acting was just good enough that it didn't detract from the show. Everyone looked good, which is always important. There were just enough holes in the plot that it made you think, "Hey, wait a second ..." And the music was perfect.
That was a gift from me to you OC fans out there. I'm done with that show.
Tomorrow I'm headed for Madison for a weekend with the crew from the 213.
Be in touch.
Until The Next.
Deets Blog II: Back in the Habit
It's been a year since I've blogged. I think it's a good day to start it up again.
Years always go faster than you expect them to, don't they? I feel like I have just recently become used to writing "2006" as the date, and now we're two big Holidays, a set of finals, and the rest of the NFL regular season away from 2007.
Is there a good way to measure a year? On January 1st, 2007, will you be able to look back at 2006 and decide whether or not it was a good year? Maybe. But I think it will need a grace period before you can pass judgment on it. I think you need to let the events of a year settle in first. And what if something happened in 2006 and the effects of that incident aren't known until 2007? When they are known, you will have new information with which to judge 2006. I would wait at least six months until I decided if 2006 was a banner year or one for the forget-me files.
So many things happen in a year that do not pass the (fill in an amount of time) test. This is the test that helps you decide if something is worth worrying about. If you are concerned about something, think to yourself, "For how long will this really matter?" An hour? A day? A week? A month? A year? That will tell you where it fits into your Big Picture and how much you should be worrying about it. It's all about perspective.
Perspective is something that I think many, if not most, people lack - which is why people watch reality TV - and why reality TV sucks. Who doesn't like watching people freak out? It's fun for a couple minutes, but it gets old after that, especially if this is repeated behavior. But if people kept things in perspective and didn't freak about it, then why would anyone watch shows like the Real World or the Challenge? Who would want to watch reasonable adults live together when you can watch 7 fucking idiots fly off the handle because someone spent two minutes more than their allowed time in the bathroom or on the phone?
So much as happened in the last year that I could have written some fun blog entries about. I'm not going to go back and tell you about all of them. They may come up from time to time, but to go back and try to summarize a year would be both boring for you and tedious for me.
I'm living with my girlfriend now. Cassie is her name. I'm sure the adventures of co-habitating will creep in here every once in a while. I haven't yet figured out what I'm allowed to write about and what I'm not. I'm sure I will know much faster when I write about something I shouldn't have than when I write about something that's okay to share with anyone who can access the internet.
What can you expect to read in this blog now?
Let's start with what you won't read about: The OC
I gave up on it not even half way through last season - probably shortly after this blog temporarily died. It sucked. I've heard great things from this season so far, but I'm out. Maybe when the series is over after this season I will catch up on DVD, but I'm done for now.
The two shows I will probably mention the most now are Studio 60 and The Office. If you are not watching Studio 60, you really need to. It's the funniest, smartest one-hour show on TV. It was created by and is written by West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin. If you are not watching Studio 60 (on NBC Mondays, 8pm), then you are probably watching CSI: Miami. Why should you not watch CSI: Miami? Because that shit will be shown in syndication next season and for a decade to come. Plus, you see enough of those episodes and you can know who did what and to whom 15 minutes in. Lastly, about CSI: Miami, David Caruso might be the worst actor ever to be broadcast on network TV in America. This is not an exaggeration. In 15 years (or less), he will be the subject of the Walker Texas Ranger type jokes that became popular fodder for 18-40 year-olds for a couple weeks a few months ago. People will make t-shirts with Caruso on it and the jokes will be on the backs of little flyers. And then people will drag it on until it's not funny anymore, just really annoying and then you're sort of dense friend will catch on a month later and run with the jokes for a while. You will give him a few courtesy laughs here and there, but after a while you will just ignore him because it is way too much work to pretend to laugh at something that ran out of funny six weeks ago and then he'll get pissed. Nobody wants that, so don't watch David Caruso. You might as well watch something with quality. The way Sorkin and his writers comment on the television business in that show is great and so right on point. It's not too late to catch on to the show.
Except Caruso probably won't tell Haley Joel-Osment that he has AIDS. Maybe that his BAC is .27 and he shoulnd't be behind the wheel though.
And The Office is the funniest half-hour comedy since Seinfeld. If you try to argue that, you're an idiot.
Yeah, I'm open-minded.
Subjects of this blog, you just got a couple of them: TV and my opinions - others will be politics and sports and whatever else.
Speaking of politics. It's good to see the Democrats taking power in both bodies. Now let me tell you what the next two years of national politics will look like:
The Democrats take power in the Senate and the House. Bush is a lame-duck president.
The Democrats try to take advantage of this power, but their right hand doesn't know what their left hand is doing and they just fuck it up, both left and right.
Congressman Foley gets out of his rehab thing and fondles your 15 year-old cousin Huey.
The Democrats and Bush don't work together at all and almost nothing gets accomplished - and I seriously mean nothing. Bush threatens to veto everything.
The Dems end up fighting with each other on what their priorities should be. They are the most disorganized party in the political history of this continent. They are the New York Knicks of national politics.
Time to start considering options for 2008. The Republicans get behind a couple candidates to send through the primary process. They back one right away and ride him into the campaign - they are together, clear on message, and behind one candidate.
The Democrats start out with 27 candidates to get their nomination. The primary gets ugly and the Dems all shoot each other down. There are still 8 people in the running two weeks before Super Tuesday. They run another "ho-hum" candidate like Kerry who cannot engage the public and cannot communicate ideas and in a year where any party with half a brain should mop the Republicans up, they lose the presidency. Facism takes over.
The Democrats won power in this year's elections because George W. Bush is fucking idiot and has fucked so much up that he tainted the entire party. The Democrats could have won power without even trying. But their party is a mess and that will show in two years.
What should happen? Run Obama from Illinois and let him get the party ready now. Nobody wants to see the faces that we saw in '04. Obama and Wesley Clark (yeah, I know we saw him in '04, but not for very long) would be a good ticket.
Now relating perspective to politics... The Democrats don't have any. But neither do voters: The ammendment to ban same-sex marraige in Wisconsin passed. Putting aside the fact that it is just wrong that we do not allow homosexuals the same rights as heteros, it is 100% inevitable that they will gain these rights one day. Why are we trying to stop it now? It's going to be an issue in 2008 and nobody wants it to be. If the people would just get over it and vote to allow it, then we could listen to politicians speak about things that will actually affect us in our daily lives. If Adam and Steve get married it isn't going to affect you. If your tuition or your property taxes go up 20% you better believe you will notice that.
If we could only just rip every stitch of Christian myth and tradition out of government it would all be so much simpler.
If you haven't seen The Departed or The Prestige, do so as soon as humanly possible. They are the two best Big Hollywood movies I've seen in a long, long time. The Departed might in the top 5 best movies I've ever seen. I need to see it again to make sure.
Good re-start.
Until Tomorrow.
Years always go faster than you expect them to, don't they? I feel like I have just recently become used to writing "2006" as the date, and now we're two big Holidays, a set of finals, and the rest of the NFL regular season away from 2007.
Is there a good way to measure a year? On January 1st, 2007, will you be able to look back at 2006 and decide whether or not it was a good year? Maybe. But I think it will need a grace period before you can pass judgment on it. I think you need to let the events of a year settle in first. And what if something happened in 2006 and the effects of that incident aren't known until 2007? When they are known, you will have new information with which to judge 2006. I would wait at least six months until I decided if 2006 was a banner year or one for the forget-me files.
So many things happen in a year that do not pass the (fill in an amount of time) test. This is the test that helps you decide if something is worth worrying about. If you are concerned about something, think to yourself, "For how long will this really matter?" An hour? A day? A week? A month? A year? That will tell you where it fits into your Big Picture and how much you should be worrying about it. It's all about perspective.
Perspective is something that I think many, if not most, people lack - which is why people watch reality TV - and why reality TV sucks. Who doesn't like watching people freak out? It's fun for a couple minutes, but it gets old after that, especially if this is repeated behavior. But if people kept things in perspective and didn't freak about it, then why would anyone watch shows like the Real World or the Challenge? Who would want to watch reasonable adults live together when you can watch 7 fucking idiots fly off the handle because someone spent two minutes more than their allowed time in the bathroom or on the phone?
So much as happened in the last year that I could have written some fun blog entries about. I'm not going to go back and tell you about all of them. They may come up from time to time, but to go back and try to summarize a year would be both boring for you and tedious for me.
I'm living with my girlfriend now. Cassie is her name. I'm sure the adventures of co-habitating will creep in here every once in a while. I haven't yet figured out what I'm allowed to write about and what I'm not. I'm sure I will know much faster when I write about something I shouldn't have than when I write about something that's okay to share with anyone who can access the internet.
What can you expect to read in this blog now?
Let's start with what you won't read about: The OC
I gave up on it not even half way through last season - probably shortly after this blog temporarily died. It sucked. I've heard great things from this season so far, but I'm out. Maybe when the series is over after this season I will catch up on DVD, but I'm done for now.
The two shows I will probably mention the most now are Studio 60 and The Office. If you are not watching Studio 60, you really need to. It's the funniest, smartest one-hour show on TV. It was created by and is written by West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin. If you are not watching Studio 60 (on NBC Mondays, 8pm), then you are probably watching CSI: Miami. Why should you not watch CSI: Miami? Because that shit will be shown in syndication next season and for a decade to come. Plus, you see enough of those episodes and you can know who did what and to whom 15 minutes in. Lastly, about CSI: Miami, David Caruso might be the worst actor ever to be broadcast on network TV in America. This is not an exaggeration. In 15 years (or less), he will be the subject of the Walker Texas Ranger type jokes that became popular fodder for 18-40 year-olds for a couple weeks a few months ago. People will make t-shirts with Caruso on it and the jokes will be on the backs of little flyers. And then people will drag it on until it's not funny anymore, just really annoying and then you're sort of dense friend will catch on a month later and run with the jokes for a while. You will give him a few courtesy laughs here and there, but after a while you will just ignore him because it is way too much work to pretend to laugh at something that ran out of funny six weeks ago and then he'll get pissed. Nobody wants that, so don't watch David Caruso. You might as well watch something with quality. The way Sorkin and his writers comment on the television business in that show is great and so right on point. It's not too late to catch on to the show.
Except Caruso probably won't tell Haley Joel-Osment that he has AIDS. Maybe that his BAC is .27 and he shoulnd't be behind the wheel though.
And The Office is the funniest half-hour comedy since Seinfeld. If you try to argue that, you're an idiot.
Yeah, I'm open-minded.
Subjects of this blog, you just got a couple of them: TV and my opinions - others will be politics and sports and whatever else.
Speaking of politics. It's good to see the Democrats taking power in both bodies. Now let me tell you what the next two years of national politics will look like:
The Democrats take power in the Senate and the House. Bush is a lame-duck president.
The Democrats try to take advantage of this power, but their right hand doesn't know what their left hand is doing and they just fuck it up, both left and right.
Congressman Foley gets out of his rehab thing and fondles your 15 year-old cousin Huey.
The Democrats and Bush don't work together at all and almost nothing gets accomplished - and I seriously mean nothing. Bush threatens to veto everything.
The Dems end up fighting with each other on what their priorities should be. They are the most disorganized party in the political history of this continent. They are the New York Knicks of national politics.
Time to start considering options for 2008. The Republicans get behind a couple candidates to send through the primary process. They back one right away and ride him into the campaign - they are together, clear on message, and behind one candidate.
The Democrats start out with 27 candidates to get their nomination. The primary gets ugly and the Dems all shoot each other down. There are still 8 people in the running two weeks before Super Tuesday. They run another "ho-hum" candidate like Kerry who cannot engage the public and cannot communicate ideas and in a year where any party with half a brain should mop the Republicans up, they lose the presidency. Facism takes over.
The Democrats won power in this year's elections because George W. Bush is fucking idiot and has fucked so much up that he tainted the entire party. The Democrats could have won power without even trying. But their party is a mess and that will show in two years.
What should happen? Run Obama from Illinois and let him get the party ready now. Nobody wants to see the faces that we saw in '04. Obama and Wesley Clark (yeah, I know we saw him in '04, but not for very long) would be a good ticket.
Now relating perspective to politics... The Democrats don't have any. But neither do voters: The ammendment to ban same-sex marraige in Wisconsin passed. Putting aside the fact that it is just wrong that we do not allow homosexuals the same rights as heteros, it is 100% inevitable that they will gain these rights one day. Why are we trying to stop it now? It's going to be an issue in 2008 and nobody wants it to be. If the people would just get over it and vote to allow it, then we could listen to politicians speak about things that will actually affect us in our daily lives. If Adam and Steve get married it isn't going to affect you. If your tuition or your property taxes go up 20% you better believe you will notice that.
If we could only just rip every stitch of Christian myth and tradition out of government it would all be so much simpler.
If you haven't seen The Departed or The Prestige, do so as soon as humanly possible. They are the two best Big Hollywood movies I've seen in a long, long time. The Departed might in the top 5 best movies I've ever seen. I need to see it again to make sure.
Good re-start.
Until Tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Colons
The all-new The OC from Thursday:
Two very funny lines from Seth:
The first two lines of this entry ended in colons, now to continue:
The First:
(Seth and Ryan scoff and Kirsten's breakfast)
Kirsten: "Get used to it, boys, you'll experience a lot of new things in college."
Seth: "Yeah, like horny co-eds and alcohol poisoning."
The Second:
(The end of the show, Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Basket Case are walking on the beach. They are suggesting jobs for Ryan, saying Ryan Atwood ___. (then fill in the blank with the job)).
Seth: "Ryan Atwood - Fluffer."
For those of you who do not know. A fluffer is a girl on the set of a porno shoot who is responsible for helping the male actor achieve a state of physical readiness to perform his scene. She often uses her mouth.
Laugh now.
Pause.
Continue reading.
Sandy Cohen: Great Bluffer, not fluffer, I'm not sure a man in his 40's would be any good fluffing, but as far as bluffing goes, he should be hitting his prime. He owned Dean Pederast (okay, technically the wrong word for him, but I like Lebowski referances). So now The OC has done what it does time and time and time and time and time again. It fucks with the overall direction of the characters for a few episodes with a completely off the wall plotline and then brings it all back together again in one episode. I need more funny from the show and less strain and frustraing plotlines - a little more lightheartedness would do the show a world of good.
But trouble is brewing in the world of The OC. Adam made this point. Is Marisa that stupid or is she just a 17 year old girl? Her emotions are more eratic than the Minnesota Viking offense. Jeri Ryan's character - still don't like her, but still like her breasts. Yeah, I'm a dick.
So Kirsten sobers up and can suddenly cook well. Okay...
Kirsten offers Sandy breakfast. He responds with one of those lines that make The OC really great (sometimes). "No thanks, I'll have a bagel and a shmear." "A shmear" of course refers to the cream cheese he will apply to his toasted little circle of morning goodness.
This was an awkward episode. You had to expect it to be after coming off a 4-5 week shelving for the baseball playoffs. Next week hopefully things will be in better swing.
Colon
---
Tara Reid turns 30 today. She has not been relevant in the entertainment business in quite a while. Scratch that. She's been relevant, just not respectably relevant.
She's been good for "party girl slut," "boob job," and "nipple slip" jokes, but that's about it. I haven't even seen a movie she's been in that was made after 2002. And I see a lot of movies.
She's been on E! showing off her new titties and getting wasted all over the world all while bitching about the media labeling her as a party girl. I wonder why they do that.
Her two most significant acting jobs to this day are in 1998's The Big Lewbowski. Her most memorable line: "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars."
The second, American Pie (1999). The most memorable scene: her character losing her virginity. I think we can all agree that there ought to be more scenes of people losing their virginities in film. And she's hot, so it's fun.
And okay, Van Wilder was hilarious, but because of Ryan Reynolds, who is an underrated actor, not because of her. But she played the role of "the hot girl" very well.
And I think she may have been playing herself in Josie and the Pussycats.
So thanks for your looks, Tara. Now we'll all shed just one tear as you fade into oblivion on your 30th birthday.
---
Lindsay Lohan is apparently considering attending college and taking time off her sort of-music, quasi-acting, and starvation careers. That should last at least a couple of days.
---
Everyday IMDB.com has two trivia questions. I rarely get either of them right. But I got one today. Here it is: "Two things you might like to know about this actor: (1) In 1979, he auditioned for the New York University Undergraduate Drama Program on a dare (and was accepted); (2) He wrote an episode of Law and Order based on his own experiences with tabloid reporters."
Do you know the answer?
Until You Do.
Two very funny lines from Seth:
The first two lines of this entry ended in colons, now to continue:
The First:
(Seth and Ryan scoff and Kirsten's breakfast)
Kirsten: "Get used to it, boys, you'll experience a lot of new things in college."
Seth: "Yeah, like horny co-eds and alcohol poisoning."
The Second:
(The end of the show, Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Basket Case are walking on the beach. They are suggesting jobs for Ryan, saying Ryan Atwood ___. (then fill in the blank with the job)).
Seth: "Ryan Atwood - Fluffer."
For those of you who do not know. A fluffer is a girl on the set of a porno shoot who is responsible for helping the male actor achieve a state of physical readiness to perform his scene. She often uses her mouth.
Laugh now.
Pause.
Continue reading.
Sandy Cohen: Great Bluffer, not fluffer, I'm not sure a man in his 40's would be any good fluffing, but as far as bluffing goes, he should be hitting his prime. He owned Dean Pederast (okay, technically the wrong word for him, but I like Lebowski referances). So now The OC has done what it does time and time and time and time and time again. It fucks with the overall direction of the characters for a few episodes with a completely off the wall plotline and then brings it all back together again in one episode. I need more funny from the show and less strain and frustraing plotlines - a little more lightheartedness would do the show a world of good.
But trouble is brewing in the world of The OC. Adam made this point. Is Marisa that stupid or is she just a 17 year old girl? Her emotions are more eratic than the Minnesota Viking offense. Jeri Ryan's character - still don't like her, but still like her breasts. Yeah, I'm a dick.
So Kirsten sobers up and can suddenly cook well. Okay...
Kirsten offers Sandy breakfast. He responds with one of those lines that make The OC really great (sometimes). "No thanks, I'll have a bagel and a shmear." "A shmear" of course refers to the cream cheese he will apply to his toasted little circle of morning goodness.
This was an awkward episode. You had to expect it to be after coming off a 4-5 week shelving for the baseball playoffs. Next week hopefully things will be in better swing.
Colon
---
Tara Reid turns 30 today. She has not been relevant in the entertainment business in quite a while. Scratch that. She's been relevant, just not respectably relevant.
She's been good for "party girl slut," "boob job," and "nipple slip" jokes, but that's about it. I haven't even seen a movie she's been in that was made after 2002. And I see a lot of movies.
She's been on E! showing off her new titties and getting wasted all over the world all while bitching about the media labeling her as a party girl. I wonder why they do that.
Her two most significant acting jobs to this day are in 1998's The Big Lewbowski. Her most memorable line: "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars."
The second, American Pie (1999). The most memorable scene: her character losing her virginity. I think we can all agree that there ought to be more scenes of people losing their virginities in film. And she's hot, so it's fun.
And okay, Van Wilder was hilarious, but because of Ryan Reynolds, who is an underrated actor, not because of her. But she played the role of "the hot girl" very well.
And I think she may have been playing herself in Josie and the Pussycats.
So thanks for your looks, Tara. Now we'll all shed just one tear as you fade into oblivion on your 30th birthday.
---
Lindsay Lohan is apparently considering attending college and taking time off her sort of-music, quasi-acting, and starvation careers. That should last at least a couple of days.
---
Everyday IMDB.com has two trivia questions. I rarely get either of them right. But I got one today. Here it is: "Two things you might like to know about this actor: (1) In 1979, he auditioned for the New York University Undergraduate Drama Program on a dare (and was accepted); (2) He wrote an episode of Law and Order based on his own experiences with tabloid reporters."
Do you know the answer?
Until You Do.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
The OC and Then Some Shit That Matters
Here is a recap of the last all-new episode of The OC.
A few thoughts:
Summer and Seth will use the Dean Hess/Taylor make out thing against them somehow for their own good. Maybe they'll even get Ryan and/or Marisa back into school to finish out the Senior Year like they all imagined they would.
What will become of Julie?
A few options.
1) Swallow her pride and crash with the Cohens.
2) Return to her porn career.
3) Move out of The OC to reunite with an ex from a score ago.
4) Dupe some rich bastard into marrying her.
5) Sign on as a maid to some rich bastard and tell everyone that they are in a relationship.
How are they paying for Marisa's sister's boarding school? I swear to god the writers will have to bring that little plot problem back into the show at some point and explain all the things that don't make sense about her existence.
Jeri Ryan's character will still have great breasts and will still in the process of executing her scheme, but nothing will happen until next week.
---
I've neglected The News recently. A few sentences about a lot of things.
Harriet Miers withdrew her name. Was anyone surprised? Was anyone bummed? Finally, the country agrees on something, well, except for the cartoon character currently occupying the Oval Office.
Judge Alito? Too conservative. Will probably be confirmed. I would enjoy a fillibuster. The Court will still have a liberal lean to it.
The Senate's closed session. It's great to see the Democratic party pick their balls up and actually formulate a plan on something and act it out. They took the offensive on an issue that the Christian Party was trying to avoid for as long as possible. The Dems got the Repubs all flustered and that was fun to see. Bill Frist is a racist jackass.
Former FEMA Director Michael Brown showed great tact in his e-mails during the Katrina crisis. He didn't know it then, but he was ending his career in politics. Stupid bastard. Imagine someone in the Bush Administration not giving a shit about such a serious matter... weird.
Scooter Libby: The New Face of the Republican Party. Like it or not, he is in front now and Karl Rove is lurking in the background waiting for his time to shine. That whole administration seems so unprofessional about everything. They ought to grab their jocks, sit down, find someone who knows what the hell is going on and right their way and try to save face for two more years.
80 minutes until The OC and Reunion return.
Recaps will follow.
Until The Next.
A few thoughts:
Summer and Seth will use the Dean Hess/Taylor make out thing against them somehow for their own good. Maybe they'll even get Ryan and/or Marisa back into school to finish out the Senior Year like they all imagined they would.
What will become of Julie?
A few options.
1) Swallow her pride and crash with the Cohens.
2) Return to her porn career.
3) Move out of The OC to reunite with an ex from a score ago.
4) Dupe some rich bastard into marrying her.
5) Sign on as a maid to some rich bastard and tell everyone that they are in a relationship.
How are they paying for Marisa's sister's boarding school? I swear to god the writers will have to bring that little plot problem back into the show at some point and explain all the things that don't make sense about her existence.
Jeri Ryan's character will still have great breasts and will still in the process of executing her scheme, but nothing will happen until next week.
---
I've neglected The News recently. A few sentences about a lot of things.
Harriet Miers withdrew her name. Was anyone surprised? Was anyone bummed? Finally, the country agrees on something, well, except for the cartoon character currently occupying the Oval Office.
Judge Alito? Too conservative. Will probably be confirmed. I would enjoy a fillibuster. The Court will still have a liberal lean to it.
The Senate's closed session. It's great to see the Democratic party pick their balls up and actually formulate a plan on something and act it out. They took the offensive on an issue that the Christian Party was trying to avoid for as long as possible. The Dems got the Repubs all flustered and that was fun to see. Bill Frist is a racist jackass.
Former FEMA Director Michael Brown showed great tact in his e-mails during the Katrina crisis. He didn't know it then, but he was ending his career in politics. Stupid bastard. Imagine someone in the Bush Administration not giving a shit about such a serious matter... weird.
Scooter Libby: The New Face of the Republican Party. Like it or not, he is in front now and Karl Rove is lurking in the background waiting for his time to shine. That whole administration seems so unprofessional about everything. They ought to grab their jocks, sit down, find someone who knows what the hell is going on and right their way and try to save face for two more years.
80 minutes until The OC and Reunion return.
Recaps will follow.
Until The Next.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Humping Hilary
Jesse's a funny guy. For the record, if you read his most recent comment, I will not be attending any Hilary Duff concerts. I don't know about Jesse, though.
That needed saying.
I need to be at work in ten minutes. It's hump day, stop reading and go do somebody.
That needed saying.
I need to be at work in ten minutes. It's hump day, stop reading and go do somebody.
The Crowes on Wisconsin Ave.
The Black Crowes Concert:
The first time I saw them, four years ago to the month, and in the same venue, the Eagles Ballroom in Milwaukee, they were outstanding. It was the second best concert I have ever seen. It was also their last concert before "breaking up."
Well now they are back and they came back to Milwaukee and played a three hour show with no opening act on a candle-lit stage. Not having an opening act was great. The candles were cool. Three hours is great. The content was eh.
It took them two-three songs to straighten things out behind the sound board, which was frustrating. When it was good, it was great. When it sucked, it sucked.
The songs they played were good, the band sounded good, they jammed for a while during each 90 minute set and was well. Except I didn't hear a bunch of songs I wanted to hear.
Go Faster
Stop Kicking My Heart Around
Virtue and Vice
Thick and Thin
She Talks to Angels
Hard to Handle
Miracle to Me
Young Man, Old Man
Those were eight songs on my mental list of songs I really wanted to hear. They didn't play them. I understand not playing Hard to Handle and She Talks to Angels. I'm sure they are sick of those songs and it's cool with me if they don't play them. But I really, really wanted to hear Go Faster, Stop Kicking My Heart Around, and Virtue and Vice. If they would have played three or four of those, I would have been very happy with the show.
The other songs on my list they did play: Thorn in My Pride, Soul Singing, Remedy, Jealous Again, Greasey Grass River, Midnight From the Inside Out, Black Moon Creeping, Twice as Hard, By Your Side
The show also lacked crowd interaction. Not a big deal.
Chris Robinson is a fantastic front man. I have to believe he is one of the best in rock n roll today. But they really didn't need him to be picking up guitars to play. I don't know if he is new to the instrument or not but he looked a little stiff and didn't really add much to the music.
Annoying things at the show:
There were two big guys, bigger than me, about my age at the show and they were not gifted with either coordination or rhythm and adding alcohol to the mix didn't work out so well for them either. It was painful to watch them trying to dance - and sway arm in arm completly out of sync with the music. An eye sore for sure.
Then there was a stout little man with very curly hair who must have thought he was at a metal concert cause his headbanging to fairly mellow songs was out of control, out of time with the music, and just generally out of place.
Number of cute girls I saw: Zero. If you are reading this and were at the show, I'm sorry, I must not have seen you. All were at least 30 and smoking cigs. This is not to say that women over 30 can't be good looking, of course they can. These were not. And cigs just don't make any girl look good.
And the beers were 6 bucks and double rails 9.50. What are you going to do? Two of each and I had spent all I was going to spend on booze.
I complained a lot but it was still a pretty good show. They are a great band, just forgot some stuff in this show. If they had played every song I wanted to hear I probably would have laughed at two large overly-white guys, instead I hated them. Such is life.
Now I need concert redemption, which I will surely receive November Ninth at the Bad Religion/Pennywise show.
This will be a long week in waiting.
Rock on.
Until the Next.
The first time I saw them, four years ago to the month, and in the same venue, the Eagles Ballroom in Milwaukee, they were outstanding. It was the second best concert I have ever seen. It was also their last concert before "breaking up."
Well now they are back and they came back to Milwaukee and played a three hour show with no opening act on a candle-lit stage. Not having an opening act was great. The candles were cool. Three hours is great. The content was eh.
It took them two-three songs to straighten things out behind the sound board, which was frustrating. When it was good, it was great. When it sucked, it sucked.
The songs they played were good, the band sounded good, they jammed for a while during each 90 minute set and was well. Except I didn't hear a bunch of songs I wanted to hear.
Go Faster
Stop Kicking My Heart Around
Virtue and Vice
Thick and Thin
She Talks to Angels
Hard to Handle
Miracle to Me
Young Man, Old Man
Those were eight songs on my mental list of songs I really wanted to hear. They didn't play them. I understand not playing Hard to Handle and She Talks to Angels. I'm sure they are sick of those songs and it's cool with me if they don't play them. But I really, really wanted to hear Go Faster, Stop Kicking My Heart Around, and Virtue and Vice. If they would have played three or four of those, I would have been very happy with the show.
The other songs on my list they did play: Thorn in My Pride, Soul Singing, Remedy, Jealous Again, Greasey Grass River, Midnight From the Inside Out, Black Moon Creeping, Twice as Hard, By Your Side
The show also lacked crowd interaction. Not a big deal.
Chris Robinson is a fantastic front man. I have to believe he is one of the best in rock n roll today. But they really didn't need him to be picking up guitars to play. I don't know if he is new to the instrument or not but he looked a little stiff and didn't really add much to the music.
Annoying things at the show:
There were two big guys, bigger than me, about my age at the show and they were not gifted with either coordination or rhythm and adding alcohol to the mix didn't work out so well for them either. It was painful to watch them trying to dance - and sway arm in arm completly out of sync with the music. An eye sore for sure.
Then there was a stout little man with very curly hair who must have thought he was at a metal concert cause his headbanging to fairly mellow songs was out of control, out of time with the music, and just generally out of place.
Number of cute girls I saw: Zero. If you are reading this and were at the show, I'm sorry, I must not have seen you. All were at least 30 and smoking cigs. This is not to say that women over 30 can't be good looking, of course they can. These were not. And cigs just don't make any girl look good.
And the beers were 6 bucks and double rails 9.50. What are you going to do? Two of each and I had spent all I was going to spend on booze.
I complained a lot but it was still a pretty good show. They are a great band, just forgot some stuff in this show. If they had played every song I wanted to hear I probably would have laughed at two large overly-white guys, instead I hated them. Such is life.
Now I need concert redemption, which I will surely receive November Ninth at the Bad Religion/Pennywise show.
This will be a long week in waiting.
Rock on.
Until the Next.
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